tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25207597062639074262024-03-12T20:58:10.128-07:00It doesn't get easier, you just get strongerThis is a blog about my stroke and its impact. I am not a good writer so don't expect great writing. It may bore you but what i write are my experiences and feelings. For the medically minded of you; I had a clot that damaged my brain in two places, the right occipital lobe and the right thalamus.David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-198886283820949662019-09-20T09:47:00.001-07:002019-09-20T10:03:55.334-07:00I ran the London Marathon<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The marathon
is only 26.2 miles and takes between 2 and 7 hours depending on your fitness
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lot longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT4P9vNeoGK8j0XPEe5wArScxJO_6sIvP8ITh7MAmPP3QRtKmAelQZdVFG0W9ocB1DRDMtw3jyrV-qQSQyhodc2-rMvgs_wdnQPp_jOv76QADVjDrEyYvr7ggXfRDfVgwo9je0mKDoCVg/s1600/26734051_10211016802756712_6053353287359585785_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="952" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT4P9vNeoGK8j0XPEe5wArScxJO_6sIvP8ITh7MAmPP3QRtKmAelQZdVFG0W9ocB1DRDMtw3jyrV-qQSQyhodc2-rMvgs_wdnQPp_jOv76QADVjDrEyYvr7ggXfRDfVgwo9je0mKDoCVg/s320/26734051_10211016802756712_6053353287359585785_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At the Livability offices with Francesca and Ralph</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My journey
began on a cold and wet January evening in 2018 at the Livability head
offices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been asked to talk to
their London Marathon runners about what services Livability provide and how
they had made a difference since my stroke two years previously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a great time at the event and my talk
seemed to go well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What really impressed
me about the people there was their desire to make a difference and to raise
money for Livability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a real
mix of people from those who had run many marathons to those who were new to
running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The people made an impact on me
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jealous that they were going to do something that I felt was out of my reach.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During the
evening one of the Livability asked if I wanted to do the marathon at some
point I replied that I would love to but felt it was something beyond my
abilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Up until that point I had
only ever ran a half marathon and I found that tough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They suggested that if I was interested then
to let them know. After travelling home I received some nice messages from
people who had attended the event and how much I inspired them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was simple messages like this that made me
think further about entering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The story
jumps forward a few months to early April 2018.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I received an email from Livability asking me if I was interested in
registering an interest in applying for one of their charity places for the
2019 London Marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought there is
no harm in simply registering and my running was going well so it felt like an
easy thing to do without having to make a commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been discussing running the marathon
with my son Ben so we both decided to register.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn’t expect to hear anything for some time and I also expected not
to get a place after all I wasn’t the best candidate to run a marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I received a response within a couple of
hours saying that both Ben and I had places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So much for having time to consider whether I could do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not really believe that they had
offered me a place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It was a
tough decision for me to make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure
most people would be very quick to make the decision to accept; after all it is
one of the toughest marathons to get into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As many of you know running a marathon is not just a case of turning up
and running 26.2 miles. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me the
decision was a lot tougher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would I
get round, I would need a guide; would I be able to fit in the training given
the level of fatigue I suffer post stroke combined with working 3 / 4 days per
week; is it sensible for a stroke survivor to run a marathon; would I be able
to raise the target of £1,875, £3,750 if Ben and I did a combined fundraising
effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also had to consider whether
Stephanie would want me to run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
that she was not a massive fan of me running races as my stroke happened after
a race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having discussed all of the
issues with Stephanie and Ben we eventually agreed that I could run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both Ben and I responded positively to the
invitation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben and I were part of the
Livability team that would run the 2019 London Marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even now that still feels a scary thing to
say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I had just
over a year to get into a level of fitness that would enable me to run the
marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With all things like this
there is an almost childlike level of enthusiasm in starting the training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was definitely motivated towards getting a
great time at the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With all these
things you have in mind a target time in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In my registration of interest I had put down that I hoped to do the
marathon in 5 hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reality was
that I really wanted to do it in less than 4 hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking back now that target was almost ridiculous,
however I had done a half marathon in 2:03 and I was not at my greatest level
of fitness so 4:00 hours appeared a reasonable target.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The next
problem was trying to find someone to run with me as a guide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I don’t often run with a guide I knew
that I needed one for the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
wasn’t just that I needed someone to guide me round I needed someone who could
keep an eye on me making sure I was cognitively capable of running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also with the massive number of runners it
was important that I stayed safe and kept everyone around me safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a half blind person running around is
a recipe for disaster!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes things
happen in life that are just meant to be and how I got a guide is one of
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told a very good friend, Kathy
that I had got a place in the London Marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is the exact response I got a couple of hours later: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“Brilliant news. Funny I was talking about you today. My friend
Kevin who is Dr ran VLM on Sunday. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
has decided to do his running course for visually impaired and I mentioned in
passing that you had applied for 2018 and not got in. He then said well if he
wants someone to run with him I am more than happy!! He doesn't want to do it
for himself again but to help someone else! Then I walk out of work and
see your text. How very weird!!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qH8Gsl9mM7jLjdoHDZugsQsqDXTZ7YNTmsz3kEsAwiV_W6agGn6VrDRajYHgsh4-mhq31X6DuGLEZwIP3jjppl-F4O4nicW12WKygFhDBdQA3r_oZ2CJ_xxudPhcMQXedhldkexGuqg/s1600/IMG_8449.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1054" data-original-width="766" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qH8Gsl9mM7jLjdoHDZugsQsqDXTZ7YNTmsz3kEsAwiV_W6agGn6VrDRajYHgsh4-mhq31X6DuGLEZwIP3jjppl-F4O4nicW12WKygFhDBdQA3r_oZ2CJ_xxudPhcMQXedhldkexGuqg/s320/IMG_8449.jpg" width="232" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Kevin and I at the Snetterton half marathon</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So not only
had I found myself a guide for the day he was a doctor and a cardiologist at
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of Stephanie’s fears was that
I would over exert myself and collapse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Having a doctor running with me was like having my own personal medical
team with me on the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It couldn’t
have been planned any better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am a very
organised person so the next few months I began my training in earnest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I planned a few races and even arranged with
Kevin to run a few events so we could practice running together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a guide runner is not something that
is particularly easy to pick up so you do have to train together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be able to run together you have to
communicate well and gain trust from each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to trust my guide to direct me round
obstacles and he has to trust that I will do as he asks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t that simple. Kevin wasn't always able to join me on all of the runs but he arranged for one of his friends, Julian, to run with me on a 20 mile race. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I soon
realised that my hope of a sub 4 hour marathon was unachievable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the training was going well I was
more concerned with getting my distance up and less about increasing my
pace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A 4:30 marathon was now my target.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a lot more difficult to train during
the autumn and winter as it was difficult to train in the evenings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am fortunate that I have good running
friends particulalrly George and Stuart who continually supported my training
efforts and accompanied me to a number of races.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During this
time Ben and I were starting to fundraise, the target of £3,750 was a long way
off. It hadn’t been that long since I had raised £2,800 for Livability so I was
worried that people would not donate having donated so recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first the sponsorship came in very slowly
and it was a big worry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had already
decided that if we fell short I would make up the shortfall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At this
point everything went downhill over the next few months with a combination of
issues keeping me from training.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The most
significant of these was that just after Christmas my mother fell ill and was
admitted to hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately she
had pancreatic cancer and died in mid-January.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was devastating for all of my family as it happened so
quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember doing a training run
shortly after she died and I was about 5 miles into the run and I just stopped
and cried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so tough, I managed to
jog / cry the rest of the way home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
training at this point took a massive step backwards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I also had
to cancel an important run with Kevin as Stephanie was unwell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This also gave me additional worry and this
impacted on my training.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The final
problem was that three weeks before the marathon I had a blood pressure check
and it was 220/110.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a
significant problem probably brought about by a combination of things such as
my mother’s death, a stressful time at work, worrying about Stephanie and
worrying about the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
consultant said that I could not run the marathon unless my blood pressure
significantly improved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was put on
blood pressure medicine and told to rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So in the
final few months when I should have been increasing my mileage and pace I had actually
reduced the mileage and had to run at a gentle jog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things were not looking good at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With a week
to go we were also £800 short of our fundraising target.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The generosity of my friends and family
continues to amaze me and in the last week we raised that money so on the day
of the marathon we had hit our £3,750 target.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It had taken
a lot of effort, sweat and tears but I finally made it to race day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sorry it has taken such a long story to
get here!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">People
always say what a wonderful experience the London Marathon is but nothing truly
prepares you for what it is actually like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The day
began early with a nice healthy breakfast with Stephanie at our hotel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hotel we stayed in was not too far from
the finish line, it also had laid on a coach for their guests to get to the
starting line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben joined me at the
hotel as he was getting a lift on the coach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was quite a sobering journey as all we heard were the people in front
talking about the number of marathons they had done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgeiG_-OkWhktCvtiGuQEIOxdjzZtV9OVwHjRBN6zlpdPXQO6US4kpEB83pyceF-4tvooAMuXoJZgRFdUxYBv3hQVUhxzmnAzagjzFllN7ze-xQ1l11qsPE8qMNeCemaYqPL-ZVDRUTz0/s1600/IMG_0454.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgeiG_-OkWhktCvtiGuQEIOxdjzZtV9OVwHjRBN6zlpdPXQO6US4kpEB83pyceF-4tvooAMuXoJZgRFdUxYBv3hQVUhxzmnAzagjzFllN7ze-xQ1l11qsPE8qMNeCemaYqPL-ZVDRUTz0/s320/IMG_0454.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ben and I before the start</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The coach
dropped us off in Greenwich Park not far from the start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had to be at the Livability meeting point
at 8:00 for a photoshoot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also gave
us the opportunity to meet other Livability runners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been in contact with a number of them
over the recent months as there was a <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Facebook
Group for Livability runners. It was great to put names to faces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a real sense of anticipation and
nervousness with all my fellow runners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s been a long time coming and all are running for many different
reason but the prime purpose is to raise money for Livability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOe9lozUBSSZRiyLl_enq-o0ad16-juZ7869Ug-63Se2b6M_kV_LavqsJ7A3j_PNrxdE7t7fq2-DCaFVRgMC4AVLlb5sPgrzq9iuXoyy0dDqvUXIyXWozAFBKVMP2HlVXeQK05oIc5bEk/s1600/IMG_0455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1144" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOe9lozUBSSZRiyLl_enq-o0ad16-juZ7869Ug-63Se2b6M_kV_LavqsJ7A3j_PNrxdE7t7fq2-DCaFVRgMC4AVLlb5sPgrzq9iuXoyy0dDqvUXIyXWozAFBKVMP2HlVXeQK05oIc5bEk/s320/IMG_0455.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Livability marathon runners 2019</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">After the
photoshoot we went to our starting area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Kevin and I went directly to the start pens and to zone 5 and we were
the first ones there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin wanted to
make sure that there was a gap in front of us when we started so it would be
easier for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What many people don’t
realise is that there is a lot of waiting around before the start of the
marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were at the start pen at
9:00 but passed the start line at 10:37.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So we were hanging around at the start on our feet for over an hour and
a half.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first mistake of the day was
that I didn’t take anything to keep me warm until the start of the race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fleece and tracksuit were now on a lorry
after having to drop them at the bag drop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Other people had old clothes that they discarded just before the start.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUoP5OkpXn_XUQPX4gKVtWQnv7EF0ALF0k7ip4awHiLzZ2zE04EH0pJVSd2cip3JJeyC4mB5qm-9pkbOZRhKWgrxmCz7iyxruoE0MYl5TlOaGa5761_O5F9FAWqxsh7FhsfJzkYg6SPxY/s1600/IMG_8679.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1143" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUoP5OkpXn_XUQPX4gKVtWQnv7EF0ALF0k7ip4awHiLzZ2zE04EH0pJVSd2cip3JJeyC4mB5qm-9pkbOZRhKWgrxmCz7iyxruoE0MYl5TlOaGa5761_O5F9FAWqxsh7FhsfJzkYg6SPxY/s320/IMG_8679.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Kevin and I before the start</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As the time
got closer stewards came to the front of the pens, they were going to walk us
to closer to the start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One issue we had
was that I was put in zone 5 and Kevin for some reason had been put in zone 6
even though he was my guide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A steward
noticed that Kevin was supposed to be in the slower zone and said that he had
to move to the slower pen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin asked
the steward to read the word on the front of his vest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In great big letters was the word
“Guide”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin also showed him that we
were joined together by a tether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
steward realised what the situation was and said it was okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything was very light hearted and there were
lots of friendly chats going on around us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were all in the same boat and all hoping to
do roughly the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said to
Kevin that I hoped to go round in 4:45 and if we went over 5 hours then
something had gone wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had already
planned out the pace I was going to run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I would plan to run at 6:30 per kilometre for the first half of the race
this was will within my capabilities, I had never run a half marathon slower
than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would then try and keep
this pace up for as long as possible but gradually reduce to a 7:00 per km for
the rest of the race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would keep me
on target for a 4:45 marathon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We were led
through the zone by the stewards and then waited for what felt like an eternity
until we were called onto the road where the start was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again there was more waiting but eventually
we started moving forwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually
at 10:37 we crossed the start line along with 43,000 others all setting out on
this epic journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The first
few miles were nice and easy, it is slightly downhill and as a result it is
easy to get carried away with the adrenaline and go too fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin was very conscious of the pace and we
kept at our target pace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 4 Km
every km was within 1 second of each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everything was going well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin
and I were working well together as a team, the road was busy but most people
were running and litter on the road was light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The crowds were amazing cheering you on, having your name emblazoned
across your chest meant that people were constantly calling out your name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People also saw that I had a guide runner so
that meant even greater cheers and encouragement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I first
started to feel something wrong with my foot at about 3km; my right foot had
pins and needles and as I progressed it started to get more uncomfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assumed that it was just restricted blood
flow so I moved my foot around in my shoe trying to release any
restriction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t say anything to
Kevin until about 8km.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By this time my
foot was very uncomfortable and I was starting to get shooting pains through my
foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We decided that I should slow down
with the hope that the problem would solve itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA1QZRW0zHsLi2KPd6a7qUb4YC1iz-FNyy9yyVYQAzwE2rxLirDbbbg3OIBJQDBkOXRl9UameNevpF_JukOPlerDoBRGIP8U-FsS5_Zy1NqibF5Aoco14t2Wyv_vbdPxbzlCyg00GrfNQ/s1600/london-marathon_course_map_1190.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="465" data-original-width="1190" height="125" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA1QZRW0zHsLi2KPd6a7qUb4YC1iz-FNyy9yyVYQAzwE2rxLirDbbbg3OIBJQDBkOXRl9UameNevpF_JukOPlerDoBRGIP8U-FsS5_Zy1NqibF5Aoco14t2Wyv_vbdPxbzlCyg00GrfNQ/s320/london-marathon_course_map_1190.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There are a
number of places on the London Marathon course that are considered iconic and
as such the crowds are a lot larger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
first of these was Cutty Sark (at 10k), the crowds were massive and they are
all shouting out your name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really
does give you a lift to hear your name being called out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The downside of this is once you are past
there you come back to earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
euphoria of the cheers lessened and the reality was that I still had 32km to
run and my foot was getting more and more painful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know Kevin was concerned about my injury as
he kept asking if I needed to stop for a rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I didn’t want to stop but we did slow down at 14km to roughly 8 minute
kilometres.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My foot was still getting
worse and this meant that I was not running very comfortably.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result I started to get cramp in my
legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It never rains but it pours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To set this in context in the months leading
up to the marathon I had been running in excess of half marathon distance (up
to 20 miles) on numerous occasions and cramp had not been a problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here I was after only 8 miles struggling
to keep going one step after another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The crowd
continue to support us as we went round I am sure they could tell that I was in
a lot of pain so they seemed to cheer even louder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin was constantly talking to me and
keeping my spirits up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the
difficulties of being a visually impaired runner is that you and your guide are
two people wide and getting through gaps is therefore twice as hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin was great at moving people out of the
way with a friendly word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also had to
constantly tell me that there was an obstacle such as water bottles, odd bits
of clothing and other litter on the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This may not seem a bit problem but as I cannot see low down easily I
rely on looking ahead and noticing these things, however as there were so many
people I could not see far enough ahead. I was relying on Kevin telling me that
there was an obstacle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin also had to
plot a course through the crowds trying to find less populated parts of the
route.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure our route looked like a
drunken pub crawl around London as we were going from one side to the other
rarely seeing the blue racing line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whilst this meant we did quite a lot of extra distance it was important
to keep us both safe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There were
times that I could have easily thrown in the towel and just said enough is
enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At about 10 miles I was getting
to the point where I could have given up but something happened that made a
massive difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They estimate that
there 750,000 spectators for the London Marathon so the chances of seeing
someone you know by accident is remote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was struggling along and I heard my name being called out and for some
reason I looked round.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the crowd was
someone I met at the Livability reception when I started this long journey that
January evening in 2018.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fortunately
there were no barriers at the side of the road so I stopped and got a great big
hug and some words of encouragement from her and her partner Ralph.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think they know how much those few
words of encouragement meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember
what I said at that reception that there would be bad times but that it was
important to think about the challenges faced by Livability’s clients every day
and to keep going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Francesca and Ralph
if you ever read this thank you so much you do not know what a difference
seeing you made that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was still
hobbling along with the pain in my right leg getting worse and the cramp was in
both legs and I still had 16 miles to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t really remember the next few miles but eventually we were coming
to Tower bridge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is probably the
most iconic viewing point in the whole race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bridge was packed with spectators on both sides.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was here that one of my favourite memories
of the day happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was clearly
struggling and it was obvious to the spectators that I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think this together with being a guided
runner made people chant my name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I
ran over the bridge the chant was picked up by the next spectator so the whole
way across the bridge I was swept along with the chant of “David, David,
David….”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Absolutely unforgettable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin had to tell me to slow down as I had
unconsciously picked up the pace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tower Bridge
is just before half way and the finish seemed a long way off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was at about half way that Kevin decided
we need to stop and try and sort things out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I sat down at the side of the road and once Kevin had reassured the
numerous St Johns ambulance people that I was okay, we assessed what the
situation was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all he took my
shoe off and examined my foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said
it wasn’t caused by lack of blood flow so loosening my shoes would not
help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also stretched out my legs to
help relieve the cramp which was incredibly painful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember Kevin telling me that it would be
okay to stop and that it would not lessen my achievement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me afterwards that I said in the
sternest voice he had heard me use “I am never giving up”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one thing people would say about me is
that I am not a quitter; once I start something I will not stop until it’s
complete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kevin then gave me the option
of walking the rest of the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said
I will still finish before the roads reopen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Again I said that I wanted to continue to run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say run but it was more of a tortured
hobble but it was running.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiav3DEPeLZj65Z1r1cOkgSFDjytXIUcYLX3anG0230r6xmHq_k7tttJU-Fnyfm_KVAwMZkhz0CjKce21RikuWSfbV2ebV81bqKjIR2ExboNEk6JWuiTfYsms1_X5RzhGdV5gSXQjAMX-s/s1600/IMG_8734.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiav3DEPeLZj65Z1r1cOkgSFDjytXIUcYLX3anG0230r6xmHq_k7tttJU-Fnyfm_KVAwMZkhz0CjKce21RikuWSfbV2ebV81bqKjIR2ExboNEk6JWuiTfYsms1_X5RzhGdV5gSXQjAMX-s/s320/IMG_8734.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Kevin and I arriving at the Livability cheer point</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The good
news was that every step was taking me closer to the finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My next target was 16 miles where the
Livability cheer point was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was also
where Stephanie, Bethany (my daughter), Samuel (nephew) and Kathy (the friend
who had introduced me to Kevin) were waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
time between halfway and 16 miles was the toughest part of the race, I don’t
honestly know how I got there but I know that without Kevin I would have
stopped, his company and encouragement was immense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept thinking that the cheer point would be
soon but it took ages to arrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we
at last saw the cheer point I was so relieved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To see all the Livability team plus my family and friends all cheering
me was so emotional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stopped just to
give everyone a hug and just to be with everyone was a real lift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that people were worried as I had
taken a lot longer to get there than they expected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They knew that something had gone wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stephanie told me that Livability had some
tickets in the grandstand on the Mall and that they would be there to cheer me
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The time to continue came round too
fast and we were off again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo09aFTWZLGQDdxNiCYIsJ1TaabRFLzTB7vXh4WWpsvuUZeLWFYE_kHviGwiDoRgDUA9UgJyR5sG5ThIWFUvQlhEFp7Rl-XRj42ZCS7wInrgBVlhU32B0_PCIGFlA7FBplV41FYm2GGos/s1600/834305_1048_0024a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo09aFTWZLGQDdxNiCYIsJ1TaabRFLzTB7vXh4WWpsvuUZeLWFYE_kHviGwiDoRgDUA9UgJyR5sG5ThIWFUvQlhEFp7Rl-XRj42ZCS7wInrgBVlhU32B0_PCIGFlA7FBplV41FYm2GGos/s320/834305_1048_0024a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I had now
done 16 miles and only had 10 miles to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think it was a combination of the lift from seeing everyone plus 10
miles was a distance I used to run regularly in my training that meant I felt I
could complete the race. It wasn’t getting easier as the cramp was terrible and
the pain shooting up my right leg was as bad as ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just felt I could overcome it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Once you
come out of Docklands and onto the embankment you can see the Houses of
Parliament in the distance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a
massive target to aim for and the finish line was not far from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The crowds along the route were amazing and
they really keep you running even though you don’t want to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu71xLbi4_rusqqIa5p-lxTtWWU3vNDDdsdthL1M_zrTcCzMH3_iqVd7FuzFA9slXhPXMALObfgZyFmY7ZKcS8H0he6pErPeZUqSV3eqap3BbxIGtikaAM-GZIGU51CoLWVLDOjPUyvF8/s1600/aaa6be22-47d7-4cbc-9077-b098aae76e5c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu71xLbi4_rusqqIa5p-lxTtWWU3vNDDdsdthL1M_zrTcCzMH3_iqVd7FuzFA9slXhPXMALObfgZyFmY7ZKcS8H0he6pErPeZUqSV3eqap3BbxIGtikaAM-GZIGU51CoLWVLDOjPUyvF8/s320/aaa6be22-47d7-4cbc-9077-b098aae76e5c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Running down the Mall</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Before too
long we were at the Houses of Parliament and there was only a short distance to
go until the finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you turn the
corner, run past Buckingham Palace and get on to the Mall you know you have
done it and I felt a massive feeling of euphoria.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As you run up the Mall you wave to the crowd
who are cheering like mad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw
Stephanie and Bethany in the crowd and that put a massive smile on my
face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I was running up to the finish
line the emotion of the day took over and I remember crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never underestimate how important achieving a
massive goal is to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not
believe it I had run the London Marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I crossed the line the first thing I did was give my hero Kevin a
big hug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The finish line video shows
this moment and it brings a tear to my eye every time I see it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I crossed the finish line in 5:43 so much for
my target of 4:45!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmu-a3xr55LlE7iO8_Hc9sinSW6kg-2wc_6ZI-Rptxs3VCs1HKIrMJ61qtXrW4FtGZlTpEQdNVUnITEXgL3iyOQZm57a3Kn7N7AIlv9SiCA8AcvBPZ7KRHcRPQ6mp4UQk9Sfl5ATtcxvM/s1600/834230_1018_0037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1143" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmu-a3xr55LlE7iO8_Hc9sinSW6kg-2wc_6ZI-Rptxs3VCs1HKIrMJ61qtXrW4FtGZlTpEQdNVUnITEXgL3iyOQZm57a3Kn7N7AIlv9SiCA8AcvBPZ7KRHcRPQ6mp4UQk9Sfl5ATtcxvM/s320/834230_1018_0037.jpg" width="227" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Kevin and I just after finishing</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjh1iMY652jbmW-obgQ7vajp71PeZoFbp73O6GOZcQ03c_n7Q-ryvaafPYP39soo2lFgvJTQ2EiYTi1q9clBTNmUBaiQYUzXvVA8TdrWSMfJ3UOYLHkuCdyc7uUzFYzbEHCBZ1hbEfzw/s1600/Ben_Peters_Livability_Post_Race_Reception_Image_+141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1143" data-original-width="1600" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjh1iMY652jbmW-obgQ7vajp71PeZoFbp73O6GOZcQ03c_n7Q-ryvaafPYP39soo2lFgvJTQ2EiYTi1q9clBTNmUBaiQYUzXvVA8TdrWSMfJ3UOYLHkuCdyc7uUzFYzbEHCBZ1hbEfzw/s320/Ben_Peters_Livability_Post_Race_Reception_Image_+141.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ben and I at the Livability reception</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Meeting up
with everyone a short distance from the finish was lovely, there were hugs all
round.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had achieved something that not
many others do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There couldn’t have been
many other diabetic, partially sighted, cognitively challenged stroke survivors
running the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> After running for so long I could hardly stand up never mind walk. Somehow we managed to get to the Livability marathon reception and had some well earned food and drink. I missed lots of the people as they had already been and gone. The welcome there was as warm as it would have been if I had finished in 2 hours. It was great to catch up with the Livability team and to share marathon stories with them and the other runners that were there. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Even now
writing this a few months afterwards I still cant believe I did it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its difficult to express what it feels like
to do the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am really proud
that Ben and I raised almost £5000 for Livability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can never repay them for how much they
helped me but this has gone a small way towards that thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> My injury turned out to be nerve damage in my right foot. It is almost five months after the marathon and still have no feeling in two toes and it is still uncomfortable to run. Was it worth it - absolutely and I am entered into the ballot for next year so you never know I may be having further blog entries about running a marathon. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have
always said that I am nothing special all I have tried to do is live my life
the best I could given the circumstances that life has put in front of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I do know that what I have done is unusual and if by doing it helps others then maybe it is more than just getting on with life. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To finish I will finish with quoting from a
card that Kevin sent me after the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had sent him a small gift and a thank you card.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me, he is a hero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what his card said: "The truth, however, is that you have no need to thank me because by running with you I received far more than I had to give. Every time we ran together, I was witness to the bravery and dedication required to fight back from a serious illness. To be in a team with you was truly inspirational"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-54680415022577797592018-05-25T06:14:00.000-07:002018-05-25T07:28:59.127-07:00I survived a stroke - What’s your super power<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I did a talk to the Suffolk Stroke Pathway Professional Network seminar. It was quite a challenge for me but it seemed to go well. It was suggested that I included my talk on my blog. This is not quite what I said as at times I did go off script.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I want to thank you for inviting me to talk to you today. I have been asked to talk about the patient and carer experience of the stroke pathway. What worked well, what was less successful and how my life has changed for better or worse by experience. To be able to do this I need to tell you about my stroke and how it happened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I like this slide and its worth remembering that all stroke survivors have gone through a medical event that is potentially life threatening and the leading cause of disability in the UK. They were strong enough or fortunate enough to survive. I guess your super powers are the ability to treat and help these amazing people to recover and adapt to their new life. I don’t consider my self a super hero all I am is an ordinary middle aged man trying the best to live the best way I can despite the things that have happened to me. Yes I have the super power of surviving a stroke and I am certain I will continue to do this for as long as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am sure that you are all aware of some of the statistics about stroke but I think its worth sharing these ones with you:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->There are more than 100,000 strokes in the UK each year. That is around one stroke every five minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->There are over 1.2 million stroke survivors in the UK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Stroke is the fourth biggest killer in the in the UK, approx 38,000 deaths in 2016<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Almost two thirds of stroke survivors leave hospital with a disability<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->People of working age are two to three times more likely to be unemployed eight years after their stroke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Stroke death rates in the UK fell by almost half in the period from 1990 to 2010<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->It is estimated that 60% of stroke survivors have vision problems immediately after their stroke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am not medically trained at all so some of what I say may not be medically accurate but it is my view of my world and my stroke. I am not a stroke expert but I am an expert on my stroke. I was once told “Once you have seen one stroke, you have seen one stroke”. Everyone’s stroke is unique to them, there may be similarities between strokes but everyone’s experience of it is different and the job of the stroke system is to make the approach as inclusive as possible. You cannot always shoehorn a person into a pathway how ever hard you try, each persons stroke journey has to be unique to them to enable them to flourish in their new self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have reflected quite a lot on the cause of my stroke and as yet I have been not been given a definitive reason for my stroke. I have my own theory of what the cause was. In the months leading up to my stroke I was under a lot of stress at work with a lot of deadlines and an almost insurmountable amount of work. I was averaging in excess of 60 hours at work per week and the week before my stroke I had worked over 70 hours and all of this was under great stress. I knew that I was starting to struggle but I had been brought up to believe that you have to push yourself hard in order to achieve. I don’t blame my job for my stroke I loved my job and I thrived under the pressure but I believe the stress caused me high blood pressure which resulted in a clot forming somewhere. I am also a keen runner and in the weeks leading up to the stroke I had little episodes where I had the vision problems after a run. I thought that they were migraines. As a child I had migraines after exercise so I wasn’t worried. After probably 10 of these episodes I thought I should start recording when they had happened so I recorded all that I had been eating etc. I had recorded 15 further episodes before my stroke. If I was to take one lesson from this is that sometimes when things aren't right you need to get medical help. I subsequently found that these episodes were probably little bits of the clot breaking off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had my stroke in April 2016 following completing a 10k race in Ickworth Park in Suffolk. As I was approaching the line after a tough cross country I realised that I might not get under my target time of an hour. So I did what most runners would do and increased my pace and sprinted up the final hill and finished in 59:57 just inside my target. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kZ6Hj3NXk4eOs1PsyUv9Fxm9ytJGzC2smj6CvizPUbLB4Hw59VxRvqjrMgpWMbJIqMFPsEyPCp2HZU-WON4ITkNpdLZpuC1vbp4SJ66p8pBsqXkwBwlHDkhOrVBjrCc3LiB8OfppOMc/s1600/race+finish.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1024" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kZ6Hj3NXk4eOs1PsyUv9Fxm9ytJGzC2smj6CvizPUbLB4Hw59VxRvqjrMgpWMbJIqMFPsEyPCp2HZU-WON4ITkNpdLZpuC1vbp4SJ66p8pBsqXkwBwlHDkhOrVBjrCc3LiB8OfppOMc/s320/race+finish.jpeg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is me finishing the race, as you can see from the muddy legs it was a tough cross country. This is a tough photo for me to look at, it was the last photo taken before I had a stroke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I knew I had pushed very hard and was not feeling too good but I never thought anything was wrong. I rested for a few minutes and then drove home. Not long afterwards I was standing in my kitchen when I lost all of my vision, everything was out of focus and I felt very odd. After a couple of minutes my vision cleared and I was left with what I thought was visual problems associated with a migraine. As I mentioned earlier I have suffered with migraines in the past so I wasn’t that worried. In fact I didn’t do anything about it for several hours as I thought it would just get better. My wife Stephanie is quite a worrier so I didn’t mention it to her as I knew she would be worried. I think on this occasion she would have had a right to worry. I also think that I was probably not thinking properly as it is not normal to lose your sight even for a few minutes. I never believed that it was a stroke after all I had none of the symptoms the adverts say. My face wasn’t drooping, I could move both my arms properly and my speech was okay. No one ever mentioned that vision problems occur in over half of stroke survivors. I eventually went to the Out of Hours Doctor and after a few questions and checks immediately referred me to A&E, where I jumped to the front of the queue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I found the experience in A&E very quick and efficient with lots of questions and vision tests in the end I had a CT scan. This didn’t indicate any problems that required admission so I was sent home for the night with an appointment for an urgent MRI scan in the morning. After a pretty bad night of worry I went to the hospital and was seen on a ward. I was asked lots of questions and had to the same tests again and again by different people. One of the things I was asked to do was remember an address. I was probably asked this half a dozen times and it was always the same address so in the end I could remember it. I think if I had been asked my home address I would have said the address I was asked to remember instead. Whilst the test is probably important, for me it wasn’t a great test. If you ask me to remember something I will concentrate on remembering it and I would generally get it right. If they had asked me what I had for lunch the previous day I would have struggled. After sometime I had my MRI scan and again I couldn’t fault the service and care I received. It was a very noisy experience and took a lot longer than I thought it would.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I eventually went to the TIA Clinic area on the stroke ward. There was a lot of hanging around and it is an extremely worrying time. At one point (probably while in A&E) I was told that possible causes of my problems were a brain tumour or a stroke. With thoughts like that going through your head you cannot help thinking about the future and whether you are going to die soon. There is probably nothing you can do to change that as you are in limbo waiting for a diagnosis. Eventually the stroke consultant came to see me and told me that I had a stroke in two places. To be exact I had damage to the right occipital lobe and the right thalamus. When I was given the stroke diagnosis I remember being relieved. It seems a strange emotion to have but until that moment I thought I could have had a brain tumour. A stroke definitely seemed the lesser of two evils. I don’t really remember much about the rest of that day all I remember was that I was told that someone from the Early Supported Discharge team would come and see me. I also had a whole lot of new drugs to take.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMkmDmBQD5JP6A2z8clt2moNZwBw4ONqA3MElFIIZyNSNIfMIrO7yZH_GeAZJpBHReQ6EXVIEHWK7yN6AIv3O5Z1PSWXk507Ub6FT-P7ESS-0ITKtgC36s9b2iFI4-TnqLP9IUfUo2-w/s1600/discriminate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="650" data-original-width="1081" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMkmDmBQD5JP6A2z8clt2moNZwBw4ONqA3MElFIIZyNSNIfMIrO7yZH_GeAZJpBHReQ6EXVIEHWK7yN6AIv3O5Z1PSWXk507Ub6FT-P7ESS-0ITKtgC36s9b2iFI4-TnqLP9IUfUo2-w/s320/discriminate.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One thing I have been told is that stroke doesn’t just happen to you, it happens to the whole family. The emotional side of stroke is massive and affects everyone. I remember my daughter being very upset about it and it was very hard on my wife too. There are lots of thoughts about why did this happen. After all, I am young, non smoker with a good diet and exercise regularly. Stroke doesn't happen to young people it only affects older or unhealthy people. With your knowledge you know that this is not always the case. Stroke can be indiscriminate in who it affects and how much they are affected. What is important is how a stroke survivor is treated post the initial diagnosis. It is a long and hard journey that few appreciate that at the outset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPEGWTmZ6nkmTF9bsni4olTDdgJ0XufDfIWhuIjHLz3oj1JjIVqN7dHXvYJyVUrEzaLWkzcE7xFXSX9uGtryY-zOxh_tJuZTLduVZ8on0g6TVaxErz8xgw3k7BZs-KJilClGb_y9AoBs/s1600/explain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="779" data-original-width="1081" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPEGWTmZ6nkmTF9bsni4olTDdgJ0XufDfIWhuIjHLz3oj1JjIVqN7dHXvYJyVUrEzaLWkzcE7xFXSX9uGtryY-zOxh_tJuZTLduVZ8on0g6TVaxErz8xgw3k7BZs-KJilClGb_y9AoBs/s320/explain.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This slide is interesting as it does explain very well the different perceptions that people have. The person looking on cannot understand what its like to have had a stroke and its difficult for the stroke survivor to adequately explain what it is like. I can explain the physical issues but not what it is like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The problems I have are:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->I have permanently lost approximately 40% of my vision the technical term is Homonymous hemianopia. I actually consider this the least of my problems. Its not going to get better so I just have to deal with it. I am no longer allowed to drive and this has caused a massive loss of independence. I also bump into and people and things a lot. I get used to apologising to people when generally they are the ones who are so focussed on their phones that they don’t notice a partially sighted person with a white stick in front of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Memory problems – there are parts of my life that I have totally forgotten and it is only when someone talks about it do I realise that I have no memory of it at all. I don’t consider this to be a major problem as I don’t know what I have forgotten. The short term memory is more problematic as it can cause real difficulties. I will regularly forget to take my drugs. I will forget things regularly and people tend to tell me that they are forgetful all the time and not to worry. The difference for me is that I am trying very hard to remember things but still I forget. I know that people are being kind but they don’t understand the frustration that I feel. I used to have an excellent short term memory. This cartoon sums it up perfectly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">· </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;"> I do have problems with names. I do try to make associations to help me remember names but it is not totally fool proof. For example I have a colleague at work called Louise and for some reason I just couldn’t remember her name. So a friend suggested an association. There is pop singer called Louise who was married to the footballer Jamie Rednapp. So all I needed to do was remember football and I would be fine. Unfortunately the next time I saw her I remembered the association of football but unfortunately I could only think of David Beckham and his wife so I kept calling her Victoria.</span></span></div>
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<!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· Cognitive problems – I really struggle to think deeply any more. The actual diagnosis of this is a pronounced dysexecutive syndrome. This problem has meant that I can no longer do the job I was employed to do and therefore I no longer do this job any more. A further consequence of this is that I no longer read. I find that following a story is hard to do and I cannot understand the plots particularly if there are multiple story lines. I should probably start watching reality TV but things aren't quite that bad yet. I used to play chess at a reasonable standard and I can no longer do this any more. I will lose on beginner level on my computer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Mild aphasia – This is caused as a result of my cognitive problems the technical name is Cognitive Communication Disorder. There are days when I have great difficulty talking and at times I think I should have auditioned for the part of Yoda in Star Wars. On a bad day I will get words mixed up and it can be funny for example I will talk about a par cark and I recently said the music I was listening to was meatwood flac.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Neurofatigue – I am sure that many of you know this analogy but it is worth repeating. If you imagine a non-brain injured person’s brain as a battery and in a normal day that battery would start to struggle after 10 hours of work. For a brain injured person the battery runs low after about 3 hours. The fatigue can be debilitating and the impact for me can be significant. After a days work I am totally shattered and will quite often sleep in the evening. One unusual aspect for me is that when the fatigue is really bad I begin to talk in a made up language and will not stop talking. Not only that it happens when I go to sleep as well and then I will even sing in this made up language.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">· <!--[endif]-->Depression is something that is very common in stroke survivors particularly in younger survivors. I struggled for quite a time with this and although there has been a lot of improvement in society’s acceptance of mental health issues it is still tough to admit that you have a problem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Apart from that I am in great health.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After leaving hospital I was under the care of the Early Supported Discharge Team for the next six weeks I don’t remember too much about this although I do know I saw Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy and a Clinical Neuropsychologist. To be honest the majority of this was about finding out what I could not do rather than how I would get better. One of the things that was really frustrating was there seemed to be no account taken of my pre stoke abilities. I was asked to do a number of arithmetic teast and was told I had done really well and no one had got them all right before. What was not taken into account was that I have been an accountant for 34 years and that I had a degree in maths. What would have been instantaneous previously was a real struggle and it took longer than it would have done previuosly. As I had got it right that was considered to be good but to me it was terrible. <i> </i>Occupational therapy was good though as it helped with some basic skills that helped me live my daily life. The best outcome from this period of time was that I was referred to Icanho although it took quite a long time for me to get treated there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At the end of May I was no longer with the Early Supported Discharge Team and I was accepted to the Icanho programme at the end of September. So for a period of four months I was in limbo not knowing what was going to happen. I didn’t know that I would be accepted by Icanho, I knew that I couldn’t work and I honestly felt lost. I am referred to as a younger stroke survivor, it is nice to be called young at something. I think the majority of stroke care is focussed around older survivors as I guess they make up the larger proportion. However the number of younger people having strokes has increased and I don’t think that this has been taken into account enough in the planning of healthcare. Younger survivors have a totally different set of concerns and needs than older survivors. I had lots of concerns about wanting to get back to work and getting back to other interests of mine such as running. I was given lots of information and pamphlets by the Early Supported Discharge team. Any pictures in them were of elderly people and it made me feel that I would have plenty to do in 20 years time but for now there was nothing. There were groups for younger survivors but they were based in larger cities and no longer being able to drive meant I could not get there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If I hadn’t been accepted by Icanho I don’t know where I would be now. I don’t think I would be back at work and I certainly would not have achieved some of the things I have achieved. I think that this is the biggest challenge to treating younger survivor. There is a real risk of them falling into a void occupied by those who want to progress but are unable to access services that will enable them to make a valuable contribution to society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In July 2016 I had an appointment with my consultant and I was having a bad day cognitively and was struggling to make myself understood. My day then got a lot worse as he made the decision to admit me to the stroke ward. There was concern about another stroke although fortunately this had not happened. I think that he had not seen me on a bad cognitive day before. I spent four days on the ward (over a weekend) and it was not a pleasant experience. The stroke ward is a hard place to be on even though all of the staff are absolutely wonderful. I was the youngest on the ward by at least 20 years and seeing the rest of the patients was hard as they were so much worse off that I was. Even though I did not like being woken up every four hours for observation I cannot fault the care that I received. I was glad to be discharged and get back to the peace and quiet of my own home. The stroke ward is a very noisy place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the things I will always be grateful for is that I was referred to Icanho. It is an amazing place and it is staffed by some wonderful people. I was there on an outpatient basis for about six months. I would go up to 4 times in a week although generally it was less than this. After an initial assessment I was offered 4 different areas for treatment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Physiotherapy – although as you can see I am mobile and far more so than many other stroke survivors, I have a minor balance issue which hasn’t really affected me unless I am really tired after a run. I had a number of sessions in the gym doing exercises that helped me relearn balance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Speech and Language therapy - I have mild aphasia caused by my cognitive problems and this is probably the main thing that people will notice is that my speaking is sometimes confused and at worst is unintelligible. Speech and language therapy consisted of lots of word games and word associations. It would seem to most people looking on that the games were very easy. I will give you an example of one game. I was asked to define the word “yesterday” all I could do was say that it was not today and then pointed behind me. I understood the word but could not explain it. The key thing I learned was that it is okay not to use the perfect word every time. If you are talking to me and I fall silent the chances are I am trying to find a perfect word. I will eventually find a word that will do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Occupational Therapy- the prime focus of being at Icanho was to get me in a position to return to work in some form. We did lots of work about developing strategies for dealing with the tasks that would face me. Before my stroke I would be able to hold in my mind multiple tasks and jobs. Now I have to break down tasks into lists of little actions that build up to a single task. I am now back at work although I am unable to do my original job. The important thing is that without Icanho I would probably still sitting at home without a job. Stroke recovery is a long journey and you may never get back to where you were but the important thing is to believe you can get there and never stop trying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Counselling - depression and emotional problems occurs in about a third of all stroke survivors and as I mentioned earlier the percentage is a lot higher in younger survivors. I have a wonderful family and I have always had tremendous support from my wife and children, but stroke is a lonely place. As a survivor you spend a lot of time in your own head churning things over. What if I hadn't run so fast, what if I had gone to the hospital earlier… why did I bother trying to keep fit? The list goes on and on. It is easier to hold these feelings back and not talk about them. It became apparent to me and others that I was struggling with the emotional impact that the stroke had. Having had a life threatening illness is hard but then when you are left with dealing with disabilities that it caused was proving too much. I had some really dark days where I felt what ever way I turned there was another problem. Icanho offered me counselling and in terms of all of their services it this one that I benefited from the most. One of the key thing I learned was that the stroke wasn’t my fault. I had been blaming myself ever since the stroke and appreciating that it wasn’t my fault was a great revelation to me. I can honestly say that this is one area where I believe no longer impacts on my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3tLtgCZjzeJpb19R_ROI_SG8vLTDUErUKLb6GWYQv3bmoBcvKstE6ZwMjfdD0_NHiaKIe7Ll4_7aKXlYJMGEsxEu7MwGgU0IaqwpNLHxiaocjGARWT8eewLR56joie3c1Q_9k7giY5M/s1600/race.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="849" data-original-width="1141" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3tLtgCZjzeJpb19R_ROI_SG8vLTDUErUKLb6GWYQv3bmoBcvKstE6ZwMjfdD0_NHiaKIe7Ll4_7aKXlYJMGEsxEu7MwGgU0IaqwpNLHxiaocjGARWT8eewLR56joie3c1Q_9k7giY5M/s320/race.png" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the reasons I was asked to talk to you is that even after all I have been through I have some positive outcomes. The first thing I want to mention is that I am still a runner. People think that I am crazy to still run; after all I had a stroke after a run. To me running is about power and control. I have a very personal relationship with my stroke, it tried to kill me after a run. So to exercise control and power over my stroke I run and every time I do run I can say to my stroke you haven't beaten me you will not win. I am still winning. In 2017 I ran 1000 miles, I did a fund raising run at the equivalent race a year after my stroke for Icanho and raised about £2500. I even managed to finish it a minute quicker than the run the previous year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_Affa6jG_c8FhqNjLxMau4llle_RGfv7Axtb4dtW5saGCFENFCZaVPu1nYVicEku_tkFdBB4QqsEIAtu7qs_lPLDpZhsaRcGuqA_ryBP8CSe1Vg6Zv3q7B9i_2LFFnQzU8Ea2uELa0U/s1600/awards.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="863" data-original-width="1151" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_Affa6jG_c8FhqNjLxMau4llle_RGfv7Axtb4dtW5saGCFENFCZaVPu1nYVicEku_tkFdBB4QqsEIAtu7qs_lPLDpZhsaRcGuqA_ryBP8CSe1Vg6Zv3q7B9i_2LFFnQzU8Ea2uELa0U/s320/awards.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_Affa6jG_c8FhqNjLxMau4llle_RGfv7Axtb4dtW5saGCFENFCZaVPu1nYVicEku_tkFdBB4QqsEIAtu7qs_lPLDpZhsaRcGuqA_ryBP8CSe1Vg6Zv3q7B9i_2LFFnQzU8Ea2uELa0U/s1600/awards.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was awarded 3 county sports awards and I have written a blog about my experiences. I absolutely believe that without Icanho I could have done none of this. I have also had confirmed that I have a place in next years London Marathon and I will be fund-raising for Icanho once again.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<a href="https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/david-swales1">Click here to donate on my justgiving page</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have also returned to work initially on a phased basis but eventually I was working full time. I am not able to do my previous job I don’t have the brain power to be able to do it. I have been redeployed into a different role although this was not something I particularly wanted to do, it was definitely the right thing. I am under far less stress and the work load is manageable. But even with these changes I have struggled so as a consequence I have reduced the hours I work. I now only work four days a week. Although I know I will never be able to return to my old job I consider that this has been a massive success for me. At one point after my stroke I never believed that I would be able to return to work in any form.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For a person who has aphasia and cognitive problems public speaking is not normally a recommended course of action. I have spoke at a reception for London Marathon runners giving them a motivational speech and I am standing here talking to you today. It is something that is a real challenge and I have been working on this for a number of weeks and trying to commit as much of it to memory as possible. When I was asked to do this talk I asked how long does it need to be. I was told it should be about 50 minutes including questions. My thought process was I hope that they have an awful lot of questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With any illness it is the character of the person that is fundamentally important in determining their recovery. The one thing I have never lacked is determination. For others they need to find the things that motivate them. Its this motivation that will get them in the right mind set for recovery. I have on a kitchen cupboard a load of post it notes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They are lots of quotes that I have found helpful in getting focus in my life. The majority of them are about determination and continuing to fight. It might not be everyone's cup of tea but for me if I am struggling with something I look at the post it notes and there will be one that helps me carry on</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So to help people recover you have to find the things that motivate them, for me its the challenge of running. For others it could be reading a book; doing a crossword; walking to the end of the road or even getting out of a chair unaided. I refuse to believe that there is no hope in a persons recovery they just have to find what sparks them to make the necessary small steps to get them to their goal. Part of your role is to give them the tools to make that possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So far all I have talked about my experiences but as equally important is the impact a stroke has on carers and the wider family. As I said earlier I am fortunate that I have a very supportive family, but the stroke has a profound effect on all aspects of a persons life. People might say that I don’t have a carer as I am fully mobile but I would not have progressed without the help of my family. My wife has had to make sacrifices in her life to make sure that I have the best chances of recovery. In some ways its like having another baby in the house. She has to consider the choices we have and make the best decision. She has to consider far more about what I am doing and whether it is a sensible thing to do. Sometimes she has to tell me not to run if she doesn't think I am able to run safely. I would want to run but she will tell me that I am not allowed as I might be confused. I have in the past run in front of a car as I was not thinking properly. She also has to put up with my grumpy side. As a survivor you want to achieve but sometimes you do get angry and frustrated and it is your loved ones that bear the brunt of these frustrations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The only support that my wife actually received was at Icanho and was offered counselling and sessions with a social worker. I have no idea what was discussed but I know that she thought they were worth taking part. This is one area from my experience where I feel there should be greater focus but is generally overlooked as carer support is considered secondary to the care of the survivor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Awareness of stroke and its symptoms is improving but there is still a lack of focus on the fact it can impact young people as well. I also think that the acronym FAST is great but this may be about recognising a stroke in others. For me it didn’t work a better acronym would be BE FAST with the B standing for Balance and the E standing for Eyesight. I cannot know whether this would have made a difference for me but I think if I had of known then I might have done something sooner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In concluding I want to emphasise that since my stroke I have done some amazing things that I would never have done before my stroke. Am I a better person since my stroke? The answer is that I am a different person. I would do anything to have not had a stroke it is single most terrifying life-changing thing that has ever happened to me; there are lots of things I miss; there are things I can no longer do. The important message for me is that the stroke should not define me. I never refer to myself as a victim, I am a survivor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I said earlier I have a very personal relationship with my stroke and this is what it's like. The stroke whispers in my ear that I will not withstand the storm. Everyday I whisper into my strokes ear "today I am the storm".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If there is one thing I would like you take away from my talk is that when you are talking to stroke survivors is that you take a few moments and think about all they have been through and what truly amazing people they are. They have used their super powers and it is now time for you to use yours. I hope you have enjoyed what I have said and I hope that you may have learned something too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thank you, do you have any questions?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-92008225394715369602018-01-20T13:26:00.001-08:002018-01-20T13:28:18.935-08:00London Marathon Livability reception<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">It's not often that I write a blog post so quickly after something that has happened but this week I did something that I never thought I would do again.<span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I spoke in public!!</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Before my stroke I have spoken in public on quite a few occasions but having had the stoke I never thought I would have the confidence to do it. Also I never know what sort of day I will have with my aphasia.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Sometimes I am a bumbling idiot but other days I am quite fluent.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I never know which me will turn up on any particular day.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: SimSun; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">I had an email from Livability (this is the charity that runs Icanho - my rehabilitation centre) and they asked if I would like to talk at a reception for their London Marathon runners.<span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">It was a tough decision for me.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I really wanted to do it but I had a real fear of making a fool of myself.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For people who suffer with aphasia this is a constant feeling we face every day.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You always try to speak the best you can but sometimes it just doesn't work.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For me in my mind I generally know what I want to say but just cannot work out how to get the thoughts converted into words.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I also want to find the perfect word but sometimes I just can't find it.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You cannot understand how</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">frustrating I find this. The other thing that affects my aphasia is stress . When I am under pressure the words just start to fail me and the more it happens the worse it gets. So standing up and talking to strangers is something I would find stressful. In some ways it would have been easy to say that I wouldn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t do it. </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">After</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"> all if I didn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t do it I could have a lazy Thursday evening at home. On the face of it it is an easy choice to make. </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">One of the many things that my stroke has taught me is that sometimes you have to push yourself beyond where you thought possible. So even though it would have been easy to turn this opportunity down it was something where I could tell my stroke once again that it hasn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t beaten me. The main positive of doing the talk was that I could tell people about the wonderful things that Livability and Icanho do. So I decided that I would do it although I wasn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t sure how I would get there as I didn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t want Stephanie to take a day off work. I was not really thinking straight as the event was on a Thursday and this was her day off. I emailed Livability and let them know that I would do it. I immediately thought that I should retract as the implication of what I had agreed to do dawned on me!!</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">I thought quite a lot about what I would say and came up with a plan of my speech. I quickly decided that I would write out exactly what I would say and try and remember as much as possible. With a script at least if I stumbled with my speaking I could read what was written. I was even prepared to read what I had written word for word. If my aphasia was bad then I would not have had an option but to read it all. That would still be tough to do if it was a really bad day.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">Writing what I wanted to say was tougher than I thought. When I started to write it I was having a bad cognitive day and it was a real struggle. I persevered and eventually came up with a draft. It took a few more more attempts to get a version that I was comfortable with. Now came the difficult bit to try and a commit as much to memory as possible. To a non brain injured person this would be a challenge but to a stroke survivor it was like climbing everest. It was a massive problem for me as I did want to do well but couldn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t really hope to remember the majority of the speech. I practised and practised. I am sure Stephanie was fed up with me speaking the speech out loud but this was the only way I stood a chance of remembering it. </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">On the morning of the talk I woke up wondering what sort of cognitive day I would have. It wasn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t perfect but it wasn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t terrible. I practised in the morning before I went to work and it was probably one of the worst attempts and I had to refer to the script constantly. It was probably nerves kicking in I was so nervous!!</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">W</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">e left for London at about 3 o<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">clock; it was probably a little early but there had been problems with the roads earlier in the day. As it turned out we had no problems at all, we arrived at the Livability offices an hour early!!! We were welcomed by Fabian who had been emailing me and he was very welcoming and put me at ease. I was hoping to have another run through of my speech but I didn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t get the opportunity. We were then introduced to Lisa who was the </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">co</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">mpere for the evening. Again we were made to feel very welcome. We also met the other people who were taking part, both of whom were running the marathon.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">It was soon 6:30 the time had flown past and I was feeling nervous as we went into the area where the reception was taking place. The room had an amazing view right across to the docklands skyscrapers. It was a great venue and was well laid out. I got the opportunity to talk to quite a few people who worked at Livability and some of the runners. There were probably over 30 people there so it wasn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t too bad.</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">The evening started with Lisa telling everyone about the work that Livability do. It was great to hear about all of the things that they were doing that was helping a wide range of people. Lisa also told everyone about her experience running the London Marathon a few years previously. She spoke really well and without notes; how I wished she had a script. I didn<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t want to be the only person to read out what they said. </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">There was then a speaker (I think his name was Simon, but I am not really sure) who spoke about training for a marathon and his experience of running the marathon the previous year. Once again he spoke without a script, it would mean that I would be the only one reading from a script. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">T</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">he pressure was mounting and I started to feel nervous. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">He finished talking and so it was my turn to talk. I stood up and took a deep breath and began. There are some times in life where you find some inner strength, I don<span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t know where it comes from but it just happens. Fortunately it happened to me there and then. I spoke and I wasn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t struggling with words much (only a few times). I had my script but I didn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t rely on it. I think the practising I had done paid off. I did refer to it on a few occasions but generally it was only there for a few anchor points when I needed to be sure of the next section. I went off script quite a lot but it was not uncontrolled; it just flowed out of me. I was not nervous and I was looking at the audience and they seemed to be hanging on to my every word. It felt so good, much better than I thought possible. I had timed my speech and it should have taken 10 minutes, it went so well that I was probably talking for about 18 minutes and it wasn</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">t because I was struggling at all; I was flying and soaring. People laughed at the right places and really seemed to enjoy it. When I finished everyone clapped - I had done it, I had spoken in public. I even answered a few questions from the audience. I found that quite easy as I think I was flying high on adrenaline. </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkqfv2o1YNoCqVXQP-Z6JIqG4Z-OmJiHJ2DS2RWxHbdf1HG_brWpiwmiqb0AyktGYgpSzZ_y5hbP22H3s4L1fKLYi1TEZFNuD9ndIhIcbkTz8HsBj5gcaNXuN3iM0oqmb5JU-vkQiSLTQ/s1600/26734051_10211016802756712_6053353287359585785_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="952" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkqfv2o1YNoCqVXQP-Z6JIqG4Z-OmJiHJ2DS2RWxHbdf1HG_brWpiwmiqb0AyktGYgpSzZ_y5hbP22H3s4L1fKLYi1TEZFNuD9ndIhIcbkTz8HsBj5gcaNXuN3iM0oqmb5JU-vkQiSLTQ/s320/26734051_10211016802756712_6053353287359585785_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Me with Ralph and Francesca at the Livability London Marathon reception</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">After I had finished I felt a great wave of relief. There was then time for me to chat with a few of the amazing runners and encourage them. I was surprised at how much people said they enjoyed it and they found it inspirational. I have always said that I am not inspirational and </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">haven't</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"> set out to be. All I am is a person who has a bad thing happen and all I do is I deal with it in the best way I can. If it serves as inspiration to others then that is a happy consequence.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">Having spent the evening with some wonderful runners I found it inspiring. These people from all walks of life will train for months, they will make massive sacrifices to do their training and they will then punish their bodies by running over 26 miles for charity. As I said all I have done is deal with my stroke but these people are the inspirational ones they will do this race and between them they will raise over <span style="font-family: "verdana";">£</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">250,000 for Livabilty. This is truly inspirational. To all of you I want to say thank you on behalf of all of the people who this money will benefit you are absolutely amazing.</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">If any of you running the London Marathon want to get in contact. I will promise to encourage you as best as I can. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">M</span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">y twitter name is @rowellswales so tweet me. You can also email me on </span><a href="mailto:rowellswales@yahoo.co.uk"><u><span class="15" style="color: black; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">rowellswales@yahoo.co.uk</span></u></a><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOtZvgCAtutD9x8H97IAWZxEhVXW9SQKWhqROX0yYJs3iy7vUcbQ7hcTl1NF9LR630gvAIXsPLLFfvGcrT6zsdMJNtaF8u8bsjkCbgUtuvXTv6eiG6MklFoGdjTgoWrFs71bZp_dYqfw/s1600/17466-Dean-Karnazes-Quote-Run-when-you-can-walk-if-you-have-to-crawl-if.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOtZvgCAtutD9x8H97IAWZxEhVXW9SQKWhqROX0yYJs3iy7vUcbQ7hcTl1NF9LR630gvAIXsPLLFfvGcrT6zsdMJNtaF8u8bsjkCbgUtuvXTv6eiG6MklFoGdjTgoWrFs71bZp_dYqfw/s320/17466-Dean-Karnazes-Quote-Run-when-you-can-walk-if-you-have-to-crawl-if.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;">I will finish this blog post with the final quote from my speech. <span style="font-family: "verdana";">“</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Run when you can, walk if you must, crawl if you have to, just never give up</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">”</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">. To all the runners in the London Marathon I wish you every success in your training and for the race itself. For fellow stroke survivors I hope that this blog post will help you achieve your marathon whatever that might be.</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: 0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-42244006539593244042017-11-25T13:56:00.000-08:002017-11-25T14:57:54.101-08:00Awards are like buses, you wait for ages and then three turn up at the same time<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">You go through life
without any real idea of the impact that you leave as you make your way in the
world. I have said on a number of occasions that I am nothing
special; I will never be remembered as a famous celebrity, an amazing
businessman, a great writer or a top class sportsman. All I am is an
ordinary person, husband and father. The only thing that distinguishes me
from most of the people I meet is that I had a stroke and they haven't.
Whilst this is not unique, there are many stroke survivors in this country, it
is the thing that has had the single biggest impact on my life. Since my
stroke I have tried to be the best person I could be. I haven't let the
stroke defeat me and all I am trying to do is live the best life that I could
possibly live.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">In my life I have
never won much other than the odd pub quiz and the occasional game of
football. So to win an award was something I never really
considered. The first award was at the West Suffolk Sports Awards.
I was nominated for the Triumph over Adversity Award by my wife. I didn't
really expect much to come of it as like I said I am nothing special. It
was a great surprise when I received an email to say that I was shortlisted for
the award and was invited to the award ceremony at St Edmundsbury
Cathedral. They asked me if i would like to invite anyone to
attend. The obvious choice was my wife and as I knew my children wouldn't
be able to attend the only other people I wanted to share the evening were two of
my therapists from Icanho. It's almost impossible to thank everyone from
Icanho enough. Yes I had raised £2,500 for them but sharing the awards
evening was something else I could do to say how much I appreciated their help.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A couple of weeks
before the ceremony there was another email explaining that the nominees for all of
the awards were entered into the Peoples Choice award. This was awarded
on the basis of a public vote on Facebook. Votes opened on Friday morning
and would run until Sunday at midnight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When I got the email
on the Friday evening I looked at the vote and I had received a few votes but
there were people who had over 70 votes. I thought that it wouldn't hurt
to put a post on my Facebook page and tweet about it. Although not expecting
much I checked how the voting was going on Saturday afternoon. I was
quite shocked to see that i had received over 100 votes and that I was just in
the lead. It was great to see who had voted and many people were my
friends but there were just as many who I didn't know. I was amazed that
so many people had voted for me. By Sunday afternoon the votes had slowly
grown and I was still in the lead but it was getting closer. I took the
opportunity to re-post to Facebook. In the end by midnight on Sunday
night I was 20 votes in front. I had won the Peoples Champion
award. Winning an award that was voted for by the general public was
amazing. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8XPNWUhOOu0XPad2SZ6i9c4OOIukjpNrBCWWPIdTnRJbcj2C1qygSNuJ3oNylvFoNUNmOVhYttpSiAoVZhBtuItUfSn8v9kw0nC0km8DA5dWDdal_jWyrRWNKJA4EnQyTuZ7Ll3Wxano/s1600/image3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1097" data-original-width="1600" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8XPNWUhOOu0XPad2SZ6i9c4OOIukjpNrBCWWPIdTnRJbcj2C1qygSNuJ3oNylvFoNUNmOVhYttpSiAoVZhBtuItUfSn8v9kw0nC0km8DA5dWDdal_jWyrRWNKJA4EnQyTuZ7Ll3Wxano/s320/image3.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Triumph Over Adversity Award</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A few weeks later it
was the West Suffolk Sports Awards and there was a gathering of the great and
the good of the West Suffolk sporting scene. The four of us enjoyed the
hospitality at the cathedral. We were on a great table with an amazing triathlete
and a coach both of whom won their respective categories. The first award
that I was nominated for was the Triumph Over Adversity award. I didn't
really expect to win; I knew one of the other nominees and really thought what
he had been through with cancer and his contribution to the local athletics
would mean he would easily win. It was a real shock when my name was
announced as the winner. My heart was almost beating out of my chest, it
was a great feeling. I looked round the table and everyone on the table
was smiling, cheering and clapping. It was a special moment hearing the
audience clapping and cheering as I went up to collect the award. I
collected the award and was congratulated by the award presenter and had my
photo taken. I returned to my seat and on the way back a person got up
from a table and came over to shake my hand. It was all very surreal.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2p9ijMdUNsB50SCAYfxF24dgk3PVMlVVmJgwoyp1FiMq69d05BgzXXGKjAszFrKZAa8hdDedZZ9mvubrWyEgRdblIbR_hJQyJLhMQHZhCZDFcqcE665JIwW3sYRKLwDbt9gDYz7t2Tws/s1600/image4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1227" data-original-width="1600" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2p9ijMdUNsB50SCAYfxF24dgk3PVMlVVmJgwoyp1FiMq69d05BgzXXGKjAszFrKZAa8hdDedZZ9mvubrWyEgRdblIbR_hJQyJLhMQHZhCZDFcqcE665JIwW3sYRKLwDbt9gDYz7t2Tws/s320/image4.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Peoples Champion Award</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A few awards later
it was the Peoples Champion award, although I knew that I had already won the
award it was still a great feeling going up to collect it. The rest of
the evening went past quickly and at the end of the evening I had my photo
taken with Sally Gunnell. Sally is one of my running heroes and hearing
her talk earlier in the evening made me appreciate how much top athletes
sacrifice to get to the top of their sport, truly amazing.</span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been very
privileged to be involved with Bury St Edmunds Junior parkrun. I have
always thought that if you take part in an event that is run by volunteers you
should be a volunteer on a regular basis. I have been running at the main
parkrun for a couple of years and used to volunteer on occasions.
However, since my stroke I have had to rely on others to drive me to parkrun so
I don't like to make people hang round after they have finished. For that
reason I decided that I would volunteer at the junior parkrun which is only a
short walk from my home. I have loved being part of the team there and
have made some good friends. They are special group of people who like me
think it is important to give back to the community; without people like this
the community would not be the same. The two leaders of the parkrun Steve
and Hannah give a lot to the event and their passion for the event has made it
such a great success. You are probably wondering why I have made this
diversion away from the topic. The event was chosen to be put forward for
a Peoples Choice Project award at the Suffolk Sports Awards. This was
open to a public vote across the whole of Suffolk. For me it was a no
brainer (I'm allowed to say that as part of my brain is missing!!) but it still
had to be voted for and I was totally delighted when it won the award.
There were cameras at a parkrun to record a showcase about the event, this was
to be shown at the awards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A little while after
the recording I got an email from Steve asking if Stephanie and me to join the
rest of the junior parkrun team. I was surprised to be asked as there are
so many great volunteers who take part regularly. It was great to be
asked to share in an evening where another award was to be given. I had
no hesitation in accepting the invite. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We now have to jump
forwards in time to the day of the awards. I woke up and I was so fuzzy
that i could not talk properly, it was one of my worst speaking days since my
stroke. Although disappointed I felt I had no choice but to cry off the awards
ceremony. I think Stephanie was relieved as it was quite a journey to the
ceremony and she would have to drive. I emailed Steve to tell him and hoped
that he could find someone to take our places. I went to work even though
I wasn't feeling great but in the end I had to go home. Stephanie took me
home and suggested that I should rest and maybe I would feel better and would
be able to go. She told me that Steve had messaged her to see whether I
was likely to feel better as they would like me to go if possible as I was an
important part of parkrun. I slept for three or four hours and I confess
that I did feel a lot better afterwards. I probably wouldn't have gone
except that Stephanie thought I would enjoy it and that junior parkrun was
important for me. She also thought that I would love see them be awarded
the trophy. We did decide to go in the end.</span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The awards were held
in a posh hotel on the outskirts of Ipswich. The room looked very
beautiful with lots of starry lights in the ceiling. It was a great venue
and the food was lovely too. The Junior parkrun award was later in the
ceremony so there was plenty of time to listen to all of the awards. All
of the awards were given to some great people and there were many deserving
awards. The time came for the Elena Baltacha award. Elena was the
British number one British tennis player but tragically died from liver cancer in May
2014. She was an inspirational person and her legacy lives on through her
foundation. Please read more about her on her Wikipedia page </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elena_Baltacha">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elena_Baltacha</a></span></div>
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<div style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The award is given
to a person who shows the positive outcome and difference that sports can make
on someone's life. The award was presented by Elena's husband Nino
Severino. He began the nomination "The winner of this year’s award is
truly deserving of this award and is an inspiration to all showing how sport
can not only aid recovery from a major health problem, but can help
others. At just 53 years old he suffered a stroke whilst
racing to the finish line during the Ickworth Park 10k
race in 2016 that would change his life.... </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37sUGNojC_9YvYXyBMkK3IeDTJ8oCIULBxSZ3F3x5eJioNFwz7yAdsKYkgj_3XQ3kpWLZVRsjZenlfqfV2IjfAOvU6xEe0R9kggsF6dQUn7R87Strsa0Wrm2j_suY7B0_jl7AMuVxlI8/s1600/Elena+Baltacha+Award.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="638" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37sUGNojC_9YvYXyBMkK3IeDTJ8oCIULBxSZ3F3x5eJioNFwz7yAdsKYkgj_3XQ3kpWLZVRsjZenlfqfV2IjfAOvU6xEe0R9kggsF6dQUn7R87Strsa0Wrm2j_suY7B0_jl7AMuVxlI8/s320/Elena+Baltacha+Award.jpg" width="319" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nino Severino presenting the Elena Baltacha Award</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">At this point it
dawned on me that he was telling my story. I could not believe it. I had no
expectation of winning an award and here was someone on stage talking about all
of the things I had gone through and how I had dealt with my problems.
All of the people on the parkrun tables had realised that they were talking
about me and the looks on their faces was astonishment. I am sure I
looked equally astonished. Listening to Nino tell my story made me
realise for the first time that I had achieved something that many others
couldn't. I have never thought of my self as anything other an ordinary
person dealing with a bad hand that life dealt me. Here was someone
describing me and I thought if it hadn't been me I would have been in awe of
what this person had achieved. It genuinely brought a tear to my
eye. The nomination continued for a little while and at the end I was
invited onto the stage to accept the Elena Baltacha Award. Nino presented
me the award and he spoke to me in glowing terms and that I had achieved
something amazing and I should be proud of what I had achieved. I told
him that accepting the award named in honour of his wife was incredibly
humbling. We turned towards the audience for the official photo and I
could not help notice people standing, clapping and cheering - particularly all
my friends on the parkrun tables. It was an incredible feeling listening
and witnessing the audience reaction, I was on cloud 9. </span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp2L5GpaEUys9RPu8Ql967uRU-aaDoDGvVhwyeHHJ9R4zu-crzf3haSiPhhUhBN__SoIHMj4CjtJsQciKRJeEeLmRg9y5e41aure04Npt8yWtspwVicXlVN48IAPPnKPmjPt6W6DDtwAg/s1600/Elen+baltacha.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="633" data-original-width="960" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp2L5GpaEUys9RPu8Ql967uRU-aaDoDGvVhwyeHHJ9R4zu-crzf3haSiPhhUhBN__SoIHMj4CjtJsQciKRJeEeLmRg9y5e41aure04Npt8yWtspwVicXlVN48IAPPnKPmjPt6W6DDtwAg/s200/Elen+baltacha.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A picture of me with the award</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you want to see the whole speech plus me receiving the award just click on the link below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/suffolksport/videos/10155523354164597/?fref=mentions">https://www.facebook.com/suffolksport/videos/10155523354164597/?fref=mentions</a></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5yDRkG0m7TgL0i2Nv1snH35aeRUwENcACE1qf90PVZKcSR1LNU9Hw12Dbn8JIo8y6Eoi-5gqFVVDIvspJqLbnr5M_glDb-EAPEM03p0y8qosE_mXKrXXNH8zKAUA-P8eLNEHvdithyphenhyphenis/s1600/quotes-The-stroke-whispered.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5yDRkG0m7TgL0i2Nv1snH35aeRUwENcACE1qf90PVZKcSR1LNU9Hw12Dbn8JIo8y6Eoi-5gqFVVDIvspJqLbnr5M_glDb-EAPEM03p0y8qosE_mXKrXXNH8zKAUA-P8eLNEHvdithyphenhyphenis/s320/quotes-The-stroke-whispered.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">So is this post telling you how great I think I am. No it's not. Am I proud of what I have achieved? Yes of course I am. I haven't done this to boast about things, I have done this to tell stroke survivors that you all have the opportunity to be a success. I am fortunate in that I am fully mobile (my problems are cognitive, vision and memory related). You have to find your own Everest to climb. For me running was that challenge, after all my stroke happened after a race. Stroke survivors must celebrate every success however insignificant others may think them. Your Everest could be walking down the street, it could be doing a crossword or even feeding your self unaided. The trophies I won are for all stroke survivors you are all amazing and you need to tell yourself that every day. Your body tried its best to kill you but you survived. To paraphrase a quote "The
stroke whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.”
Today I whispered in the strokes ear, “I am the storm.”</span></div>
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-80663919398500883602017-08-11T11:46:00.000-07:002017-08-11T11:47:19.452-07:00Running the Wimpole Hall 10k<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09luDdzNLRjbVb9lNSYahzz0r-AvqOuIu_BmCZn4rDxjChRHNSpVW3WUzFNIBiGv7FPgjdrtvS_E_J-PLCSx-_fznKgicx8HAlekPoon2STc8X7b0ySv0mx-l9e4c4v9kZcNxXyy7F7g/s1600/DSCN6806+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi09luDdzNLRjbVb9lNSYahzz0r-AvqOuIu_BmCZn4rDxjChRHNSpVW3WUzFNIBiGv7FPgjdrtvS_E_J-PLCSx-_fznKgicx8HAlekPoon2STc8X7b0ySv0mx-l9e4c4v9kZcNxXyy7F7g/s320/DSCN6806+%25282%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Benjamin, Bethany and me before the race</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">From earlier blog posts you will have found out that I had my stroke after running the Ickworth Park 10k which was organised by Hoohah. One of the goals I set myself at the start of rehabilitation with Icanho was that I would run a 10k race at the same event but a year later. Unfortunately they did not organise one at Ickworth Park so I had to do the next best thing and run a different Hoohah race as close to the anniversary of my stroke. The one that fitted the bill was the Wimpole Hall 10k race organised by Hoohah.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There didn't seem much point in just running a race for the sake of it. It seemed a small leap to turn it into something a lot more positive, so I decided to fund raise for my rehabilitation centre, Icanho. I contacted them and they were delighted that I was doing this for them, they even supplied running shirts that had Livability branding. (Icanho is part of the Livability charity). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have previously posted about running after a stroke but it does seem sensible to restate some of the issues that I face whilst running. Most people who see me would not know that I have had a stroke; I walk without a problem and I can run. What these people don't know is the struggles that I face when I run. The first one is my vision, I cannot see anything to the left or low down. If I am not vigilant then I will not see anything coming from my left whether it is a car coming out of a drive or people out for a walk. What is worse is that I cannot see where my feet are going to land without looking down. Eyesight is amazing, fully sighted people have a horizontal vision range of 210 degrees and a vertical vision range of 150 degrees. So in theory we do have a bit of vision in the back of our heads. I have lost about 40% of my vision field and this is a significant problem when running. If I am running then I have to concentrate the whole time, I cant just switch off and let the yards and miles go past. I have to be careful about whats around me. More importantly I have to concentrate where my feet are landing as i cannot see them. Fully sighted people when they run they can see their feet all the time although you don't realise it. If I am on rough terrain or even on some of our dilapidated pavements and roads then I need to make sure that I don't stumble or fall. So far while running I have never fallen although i have stumbled many times. This tends to happen when I get tired during a run. I get lazy and assume I know where my feet are landing and then that's when things go wrong. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You would probably think that my vision is the biggest problem I face while running, but it isn't. The biggest problem i have running relates to my cognitive issues. As mentioned earlier I have to concentrate the whole time to make sure I am safe. To most people this wouldn't be a major problem but to me it is. I have to concentrate to make sure I don't trip, to avoid other people and to make sure I am running a sensible pace. If I dont run sensibly then this will cause me severe cognitive problems. I will explain later how this can affect me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now onto the race. I was very happy that my children Benjamin and Bethany decided to join my fundraising effort. I shouldn't really call them children as they are both grown up and living in different parts of London. Stephanie was chief cheerleader. We got to Wimpole Hall early as I wanted to have a chat with the organisers as they had been very kind to promote my fundraising and had been in contact with me a few times after my stroke. It was nice to meet them in person, they also introduced me to the official starters of the race, all of them had suffered a brain injury either through a stroke or traumatic brain injury. It was nice to know that there would be others cheering me on the way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After doing a warm up we were ready to go. Ben was going to try and run quickly he is a lot fitter (and younger) than me. Bethany decided to run with me, its not that she isn't fit but she wanted to run with me, which was appreciated. The start of a race is a stressful time for me as people are jostling for position and for space. People will change direction right in front of you without warning. That's fine but if you are partially sighted then it's a nightmare. Bethany ran on my blind side (left) this is the best side although I didn't see her at all during the race. Running on my blind side means that she protects me to an extent from people swerving from my blind side.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Once we got clear of the initial crush we settled into a reasonably quick pace. I wanted to run about 58 minutes for the 10k as that would be a tough target but my real aim was to finish in a faster time than when I had my stroke (59:57). Just after a mile we were faced with the main hill of the race. It was about 170 feet and was under a mile to make the climb. Most of the climb was in the first third of a mile. To set that in context 170 feet is the equivalent of a 17 storey building. The hill was a bit of a killer and that slowed us down considerably. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The race was mainly on rough farm tracks at this point which is difficult for me cognitively as I need to be careful of my footing. During the middle part of the race we were keeping a decent pace and were comfortably on for the target time. After 3.5 miles there was another hill and although it wasn't as severe as the first one it slowed us right down as Bethany developed a stitch. Mind you I was grateful for the rest as I was starting to struggle. The track at this point was through woods and was quite rough. As I mentioned earlier when I am tired I start to struggle cognitively. It was at this point that I started to have cognitive problems. As the terrain was uneven for the majority of the race I had used up all my reserves of mental strength. I started to babble incoherently, I was talking in a made up language and I had no control over it. I know this worried Bethany as she had never heard this before. I managed to put a thumbs up indicating I was okay. I could tell that she was concerned but I was okay physically. We continued for a little while and fortunately the path turned into grass paths through fields and was much easier terrain for me to negotiate. For this reason I began to recover my cognitive function and I was able to talk to Bethany in English. She was relieved. </span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC52lBwr8Rf0PezYDa6gdOsCgtDys9CAHVM8_jEbSf7cok_nodKCbIPepkYV6ZC_HnwHvHciiuuxlFwIUgq7WMiO0Rr1yE6G843RMHKJvfqHXcnSyYRlQ2ZQ7p4NtsASUy8L-hwXAVAsA/s1600/DSCN6811+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC52lBwr8Rf0PezYDa6gdOsCgtDys9CAHVM8_jEbSf7cok_nodKCbIPepkYV6ZC_HnwHvHciiuuxlFwIUgq7WMiO0Rr1yE6G843RMHKJvfqHXcnSyYRlQ2ZQ7p4NtsASUy8L-hwXAVAsA/s320/DSCN6811+%25282%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Finishing the race</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At this point we were probably only a mile from the finish and looking at my watch I realised that we could still make under the hour which was my realistic target. Although the remainder of the race was a gentle uphill we managed to increase our pace. Running towards the finishing line was great as there were plenty of people cheering in runners including the chief Cheerleader Stephanie and Ben who had finished 10 minutes before us. Bethany and I held hands over the finish line and we finished in exactly 59:00. So over a year had passed since my stroke and I finished a trail 10k race 57 seconds quicker than when I had my stroke. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After finishing I felt very tired (the after effects of my cognitive problem was still an issue) but absolutely elated on having completed the race. I was proud of Benjamin and Bethany for running and supporting me before and during the race.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The local paper printed an article about my race and it was also on their website. http://www.buryfreepress.co.uk/news/brave-dad-completes-10k-race-a-year-after-stroke-1-7990364</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_W16J6mDU4o9BQ6zOoiZiY7lC_y_-nvsUecnpuVOFiCbxRYBMtgyY2Eulyx1fN16lIpwhwU1iEWzqHNnlDJsYuKmYI-UYQyow2GAdY9mqKhu69TSwp4udrHSwc6N_R1Y5Zc8sUvyfwY/s1600/DSCN6813+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_W16J6mDU4o9BQ6zOoiZiY7lC_y_-nvsUecnpuVOFiCbxRYBMtgyY2Eulyx1fN16lIpwhwU1iEWzqHNnlDJsYuKmYI-UYQyow2GAdY9mqKhu69TSwp4udrHSwc6N_R1Y5Zc8sUvyfwY/s320/DSCN6813+%25282%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whilst part of doing the race was to tell my stroke that I wasn't beaten and that it would not stop me from achieving goals, the main purpose was to raise money for Icanho. At the time of writing the amount we raised is £2200 which was vastly in excess of what I thought we would raise. I am proud of this achievement and I know that it will make a difference, however small, to other brain injury survivors. You can still donate to Icanho by following this link. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/davidswalesicanho</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-62436137522029499662017-04-24T10:43:00.001-07:002017-11-21T13:18:38.427-08:00You can learn a lot about being a stroke survivor from the Star Wars movies<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I saw a post on Twitter about a runner that related quotes from the Star Wars franchise to his running experiences. I thought it was a great idea so I have shamelessly copied the idea (and many of the quotes) and applied the same idea to stroke survivors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So here goes with my version of things that Star Wars can be applied to living with stroke.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVolk1iXFdZNclx6JYJjz-HOoJfnMfEJCxM9DrUJCpqQfwAHbYB-HN_rGv-Q5GG_2AxCQ67FxjTeWlmxhqgKJvgK6AcY7pT5CTUtEOBAxluFONc9RpRVFjP6XoERtLswrbGAbsAS__Fsw/s1600/star-wars-franchise-revenue-statistics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVolk1iXFdZNclx6JYJjz-HOoJfnMfEJCxM9DrUJCpqQfwAHbYB-HN_rGv-Q5GG_2AxCQ67FxjTeWlmxhqgKJvgK6AcY7pT5CTUtEOBAxluFONc9RpRVFjP6XoERtLswrbGAbsAS__Fsw/s320/star-wars-franchise-revenue-statistics.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_r-KVoCGudyfTivTlZ9n0D3ZzHKhEfcFmU03NQuC5eb3eO2Fd8l67wBk992zH5nns1DNyG9iwGeK4Uwiawgn5kWltiE8NsYSx7xd0zJkj6PJcUVvEfT0_YyRKWKnOMS62v43mfxzwM7g/s1600/Darth+Vader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>1) “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda.</b> If something is important to you will focus your efforts toward that aim until you succeed. Just saying you will try there is an implication that you are not putting your full heart into it. Although for stroke survivors sometimes all we can do is try. I am not convinced Yoda is right with this quote but it is probably one of the most memorable quotes so couldn't ignore it.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><b> 2) "There are always two. A Master and an Apprentice." – Yoda</b>. We should never stop learning. Whether it's learning about our stroke or about how to cope with its impact we can always learn from others. Remember one day you will the apprentice and the next you will be the master.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>3) Embrace being a Master (stroke survivor) - Yoda.</b> Our strokes are probably the single most life changing event in our lives but it does not define us. We need to recognise that being a stroke survivor is important in our lives but we should embrace the fact that we survived. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>4) "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." - Yoda.</b> I am sure we have all been scared at times since our strokes. Sometimes if you are having a bad stroke day then fear can rear its ugly head. Focusing on fear will become a problem as it will start to dominate your life. A physiological reaction to a fear is fight or flight and it is the fight aspect that this quote refers to. When the fight response happens we can emotionally hurt people who are close to us. Sometimes its easy to hit out at our loved ones when we are fearful and it's at these times we should be leaning on our loved ones.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJMFjHNfarIyfzOXITSCmNMaa33H5_38g3JbqNnQPXBnWcqjeGZtY9jDjN1Wv91Hf63QFmOIi5uWnACHQFsENHJpGKvxQ622waR5wAV4rF7FxVh8fDhP5crHTSXr8yndbuOiB99h2e80c/s1600/Darth+Vader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJMFjHNfarIyfzOXITSCmNMaa33H5_38g3JbqNnQPXBnWcqjeGZtY9jDjN1Wv91Hf63QFmOIi5uWnACHQFsENHJpGKvxQ622waR5wAV4rF7FxVh8fDhP5crHTSXr8yndbuOiB99h2e80c/s320/Darth+Vader.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>5) “Don’t underestimate the power of the Force”- Darth Vader. </b>Believe in yourself. You can accomplish so much more with confidence then you can with negative thoughts. Whether you are a person of faith or not, having a positive outlook on life will help pull you through some of the tough times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>6) “Great kid! Don’t get cocky”- Han Solo.</b> We are all experts on our own strokes but know little about everyone else's even if we think we do. When you have seen one stroke, you have seen one stroke. Do not put others down, instead build them up. I see many posts on forums when people get angry and frustrated with peoples responses. It is easy to get dragged in to the discussion and then everyone has there own opinion and it goes downhill from there. It then gets to the situation as noted in 4 above.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>7) “I have a bad feeling about this.” Numerous Characters.</b> Our bodies are wonderful things and they are the greatest gift we have ever been given. Sometimes things go wrong and stroke survivors know this to our cost. Every stroke survivors experience of their stroke is different. I am sure there are many of us who could have used this quote while we were having our stroke or shortly thereafter. Although for me this quote only became reality about 4 hours after my stroke when I realised I still couldn't see to my left and it was not an ordinary migraine as I had originally thought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>8) “In my experience there is no such thing as luck.”- Obi Wan Kenobi.</b> Do not attribute your successes or failures to luck. Stroke survivors work so hard on their recovery. To people who don't live in my head you can't even imagine the effort it takes for me to appear normal. It isn't luck, it's very hard work and is exhausting. I do not make light of my effort and I do not make excuses for a lack of it.</span></div>
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbi4TNzJwTGkX6KAeYuAbqDjMEsdKEcocIpxdapqoGBpHQtnb63E37WEcpbe_Ll9a4eyVl8-7TWX2gxHZ6Q1QBXN42xrNyW_KJAQ-Ey_9BVgFNsquXriwXvFYuvPUPh0yS9nU3KM0YZcc/s1600/databank_ackbar_01_169_55137220.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: "Times New Roman"; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbi4TNzJwTGkX6KAeYuAbqDjMEsdKEcocIpxdapqoGBpHQtnb63E37WEcpbe_Ll9a4eyVl8-7TWX2gxHZ6Q1QBXN42xrNyW_KJAQ-Ey_9BVgFNsquXriwXvFYuvPUPh0yS9nU3KM0YZcc/s320/databank_ackbar_01_169_55137220.jpeg" /></a><b> 10) “It’s a trap!” - Admiral Ackbar. </b>You cannot avoid the choices you make, at some point the bad decisions will catch up on you. For a long time I blamed myself for my stroke. I put myself under pressure by taking on more and more work and never asking for help. At some point something had to give and it was at that point I had my stroke. I am sure the reasons for my stroke are far more complex but sometimes your life choices put you into the trap and sooner or later that trap will spring shut.<br /><b><br />11) “Is that possible?” -Rey to Han Solo.</b> “I never ask that question until after we’ve done it.” –Han Solo in response. Never sell yourself short and do not be afraid to try new things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPx4k607j4iJBcRVW9QPLION_6YGsJWQMXsTBgJVSYTRKXAajU4R-83LGZr37oFoSnWxoR33_yEVvZ0dkGpLRsp8jDT0oZN6Ap_6o0PGcgB0_9wtBXNq98ldBSDfD8N5z0OHWb9C5PVAA/s1600/Yoda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPx4k607j4iJBcRVW9QPLION_6YGsJWQMXsTBgJVSYTRKXAajU4R-83LGZr37oFoSnWxoR33_yEVvZ0dkGpLRsp8jDT0oZN6Ap_6o0PGcgB0_9wtBXNq98ldBSDfD8N5z0OHWb9C5PVAA/s320/Yoda.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>12) “Always pass on what you have learned.” - Yoda to Luke</b> As a </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">stroke </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">survivor I love to share my knowledge and help others if I can. I am very conscious that everyone's stroke and experience of a stroke is different but if I can help someone I will. Fortunately there are many stroke survivors who share this view and I am grateful for their experience. I also think that its important to share my experience with non stroke survivors. I am amazed at how little people know about stroke. I was one of the people who knew so little before my stroke. I didn't recognise the symptoms when it happened to me mainly because I only knew about FAST and not that sight problems were also a symptom in up to two thirds of strokes.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><br /> 13) “Your focus determines your reality.”-Qui-Gon Jinn.</b> As a stroke survivor it's important for me to be rigorous in keeping my mind set on the goals I have set. Whether its running a 10k race in under an hour or completing a task at work. Whatever happens, the more focused I am will determine a better outcome and will be my reality.<br /><b><br /> 14) “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” - Darth Vader.</b> If you don’t believe in yourself who will?<br /><br /><b> 15) “Be brave and don’t look back. Don’t look back.”-Shmi Skywalker. </b>When you have faced so much in surviving a stroke it is absolutely essential to be brave. To then have the further strength to not look back at what you were or what actually happened takes extraordinary bravery. As stroke survivors we must look to the future to become the best person we possibly can and that is a tough thing to aim for.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvDlCRRGBTmNyX5hQ_WdWsbghETmzxUfYP9X9RJVOlj1CTzpa0s-63wM6ZMg0Vz5I5WPbx67Xc4CgpTyzNv1hnFS3CFgVjFPLTTl_ktki0Q-8eJtTpLDwCro-XChxM9SOwatxGnd2asE/s1600/Han.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvDlCRRGBTmNyX5hQ_WdWsbghETmzxUfYP9X9RJVOlj1CTzpa0s-63wM6ZMg0Vz5I5WPbx67Xc4CgpTyzNv1hnFS3CFgVjFPLTTl_ktki0Q-8eJtTpLDwCro-XChxM9SOwatxGnd2asE/s320/Han.jpg" style="cursor: move;" title="" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b> 16) “Never tell me the odds.”-Han Solo.</b> After having my stroke the first thing I did was to do a bit of research and found that 30% of people who have a stroke die within a year. The problem with statistics is that context is all important. As stroke is still predominately aged related the 30% mainly consists of elderly stroke survivors. That doesn't make it any better but for a younger survivor the basic statistic is scary. I do know that my life expectancy has decreased but that doesn't mean I will die any earlier but the is greater chance that I will. So not looking at the odds is something that we should be aware of but don't stress out too much. I plan to be around for a long time to come.<br /><br /><b> 17) “Patience you must have my young padawan.”- Yoda.</b> Recovering from a stroke is a long and difficult struggle. Little bits of progress can easily be overshadowed by setbacks. Being patient, however tough it might be, is essential for our emotional and mental health.<br /><br /><b> 18) "Be mindful of the future, but not at the expense of the moment." Qui-Gon Jinn.</b> It's easy to just be focused on the future and previous paragraphs stress the importance of thinking about the future. Slavishly focusing on the future and not enjoying the successes that we have means we will not appreciate the progress that has been made.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFJkC_Gva9kU9Yf2EL0tW34kUu30Cf8003PeTDhXA9eqwhtvXOCH6RoLA3kWwkEHwp0eIRcYvPbaWqyRTGryaCIRM7dJ3SuFzudOGkleApKPM77xU17cUxzTdVkJ8OsXwMttKs-dljG4/s1600/Leia.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFJkC_Gva9kU9Yf2EL0tW34kUu30Cf8003PeTDhXA9eqwhtvXOCH6RoLA3kWwkEHwp0eIRcYvPbaWqyRTGryaCIRM7dJ3SuFzudOGkleApKPM77xU17cUxzTdVkJ8OsXwMttKs-dljG4/s320/Leia.jpg" /></a><b>19) “Would it help if I got out and pushed?”- Princess Leia to Han Solo.</b> Sometimes we all need that person helping to push us on those tough days. Being a stroke survivor can be very lonely no matter how many close friends and family we have. Having people around to give us that bit of help is important no matter how self sufficient we want to be. We do need to appreciate the times when we need that little push.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><b> 20) “Stay on target,”- Gold Five.</b> Stay focused on your goals, as a stroke survivor I need to have things to aim for as it gives me things to target but it also gives something to measure success against. How do I know I'm getting better if I don't have a standard to measure against.<br /><br /><b> 21) “This is a new day, a new beginning.”- Ahsoka Tano.</b> Had a bad stroke day or bad experience? Tomorrow is a new day. Move on and let it go. This is tough to do as our future is quite often forged by the experiences of our past. What is important that we move on from bad experiences.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7pkoXNYFLqglKteYjyF2227zmxrBS6K2ZOIB6TqONnogJnLzMTyqbxnK9RieOkA1kwqFXrnLZ_dcYTghWi2iDvRofjXQ2mXRJ9uePfyT-Jbyp0_q6cx7SG5Dku7BBK1-H7c5q83wo5d0/s1600/tfa_images.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7pkoXNYFLqglKteYjyF2227zmxrBS6K2ZOIB6TqONnogJnLzMTyqbxnK9RieOkA1kwqFXrnLZ_dcYTghWi2iDvRofjXQ2mXRJ9uePfyT-Jbyp0_q6cx7SG5Dku7BBK1-H7c5q83wo5d0/s320/tfa_images.jpeg" style="cursor: move;" /></a><b>22) “Nothing will stand in our way.”-Kylo Ren.</b> Refuse to be held back. Do all you can to reach your goals. As a stroke survivor we have to deal with problems and emotions that other people can hardly imagine. So we must be determined to progress and make our recovery happen.</span></div>
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<br /><br /><b> 23) “Be careful not to choke on your aspirations”-Darth Vader in Rogue One.</b> Do not get tunnel vision where all your focus is on yourself at the expense of family and your loved ones. It is easy to be so caught up in our own stroke lives that we forget that the people in our lives have their own worries and problems. We might be one of those worries so make sure that we spend time considering the needs of others and not just ourselves.<br /><br /><b> 24) “You don’t have to do this to impress me.” - Princess Leia.</b> Sometimes even stroke survivors have things to celebrate when we do something for the first time or solve a problem. Trust me when I tell you all about it I am not trying to impress you I am sharing a breakthrough or something that is important. I want to celebrate.<br /><br /><b> 25) “Yeah… you’re a real hero.” - Han Solo.</b> This is said with a big dollop of sarcasm, but as stroke survivor we should consider ourselves as heroes. We have survived a life threatening illness and have been left with disabilities yet we still continue to live and try our best to live life to the fullest. So we are heroes every single one of us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQhXbWx41OKSXEtm9p_HKOFo-ig4hTStpPRUPas-ptHXcTMW6HwNHISxUFl6B6bWnnZFHyXQSXN99y-mWuZRHHaSQSLf0Y_wnv30DQfJGOZhLgokTR3VX-ez74xet_Cqs903whMMsmmkg/s1600/star-wars-c-3po-sixth-scale-feature-2171.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQhXbWx41OKSXEtm9p_HKOFo-ig4hTStpPRUPas-ptHXcTMW6HwNHISxUFl6B6bWnnZFHyXQSXN99y-mWuZRHHaSQSLf0Y_wnv30DQfJGOZhLgokTR3VX-ez74xet_Cqs903whMMsmmkg/s320/star-wars-c-3po-sixth-scale-feature-2171.jpg" /></a><b>26) “We seem to be made to suffer. It’s our lot in life.” C-3PO.</b> At times, in our darkest moments, it is natural to feelings like this. People don't understand how hard it is living with the impacts of a stroke. To look at me you would not know that I had a stroke and many people will assume that things are not that bad. Trust me, being inside the brain of a stroke survivor is not an easy place to be. I don't believe that this quote should be something that stroke survivors should believe, we are strong and have to overcome the struggles that we face.</span></div>
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<br /><br /><b> 27) "Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view." Obi-Wan Kenobi</b>. Being a stroke survivor I find it important to hold onto certain principles about my new life. For me they are important but others don't understand why it is important. For example people don't understand why I want to run races again after having my stroke after one. After all it would be easy to stop but to me its that I won't let the stroke beat me and running gives me that power over the stroke.<br /><br /><b>28) "The Force is strong with this one." - Darth Vader.</b> Never underestimate a stroke survivor, they survived a life threatening illness. The strength within us is strong and we will continue to fight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiu5dSpRDAn2aGD4dmau4WwqPPjcXPLiEPElrFbrgxyCip6NakCTntCkXJKMxoquA8C9CIe6BBIRZ_LQHDRUKmNBxBaKzb2kiCwvPL1n5fV1PXzLe0WtxqY-Rv8VPWXFZvDINo4gbKxwE/s1600/Padme_Senate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiu5dSpRDAn2aGD4dmau4WwqPPjcXPLiEPElrFbrgxyCip6NakCTntCkXJKMxoquA8C9CIe6BBIRZ_LQHDRUKmNBxBaKzb2kiCwvPL1n5fV1PXzLe0WtxqY-Rv8VPWXFZvDINo4gbKxwE/s400/Padme_Senate.jpg" width="316" /></a><b>29) "Sometimes we must let go of our pride and do what is requested of us." - Padme.</b> Since my stroke I have definitely become more stubborn and don't like being told not to do something if the person doesn't think I should do it. Sometimes we do have to listen to that person as they may be right. An example: It was suggested that I didn't run a particular race as I was having a very bad stroke day. I really wanted to run as I felt that not running was letting my stroke win that day. However, I did see sense and did not run, whilst I was disappointed deep down I knew it was the right decision.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am sure there are many other quotes I could have used. I would be interested on other peoples thoughts on their favourite quotes. I hope you have enjoyed this post, it was definitely not my normal type of post.</span><br />
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-67820658258355707222017-04-17T08:52:00.000-07:002017-04-17T09:36:55.816-07:00My first stroke annivesary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Today (17 April 2017) is an important day, it's a day that most stroke survivors have feelings about, some will celebrate, some will mourn and others will treat it as just another day. It is exactly a year since my stroke. It's hard to know what to think about it. Should I be happy that it is a year since I came closest to dying but survived. Should I mourn the loss of so many things that were part of me yet have now gone or should it just be another day that I get through trying the best I can be with the challenges I face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I think it is a combination of the first two and dependent on what I am thinking about one or other becomes the dominant thought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What have I got to celebrate. Well the first thing is I am currently alive and kicking. If things had been different on that day the outcome and my recovery could have been vastly different. I was fortunate that the clot that went to my brain damaged only two places. The first place was the right occipital lobe, this controls eyesight to the left. The damage is irreparable and no matter how much my brain rewires itself I will always have lost 40% of my vision field. Even with this there is something to be positive about. I still have 60% of my vision field. I can still see sunrises, sunsets, beautiful scenery, people and so many other wonderful things to be seen. Okay I have to turn my head from side to side to see the full glory of this world but that's not a big deal is it? The second place it damaged was the thalamus. This is located just above the brain stem and although the damage was slight it has had the biggest impact. The damage has resulted in aphasia (speech problems), cognitive problems, memory and attention issues. Although these are the things that bother me the most it still could have been worse. Thalamic strokes can be catastrophic causing significant disability or even death. So just for medical reasons I have reasons to celebrate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Yet there is even more to celebrate. I have a wonderful family and although I have never doubted their love for me, when you face major health issues they play such an important part in recovery. Whether it is just looking after me, cheering me up when I am down, giving me a huggle or taking me away for a short break in Wales, it is something I will always be grateful for and is well worth celebrating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So what right do I have to mourn. Well mourning is feeling sadness or regret for the loss of something, so yes absolutely I have a right to mourn. I have lost so many things that are important. I have listed some of them above so I wont repeat them. In summing things up what do I mourn; the main thing is my old self. Many of you who know me will see that there are many things that are still there and most of these are quite superficial. I still can have a laugh and a joke, I still know a lot of useful facts. Those of you who know me well see the struggles that I face day by day and how things affect me. F</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">orgetting to put a coffee capsule in the coffee machine may seem trivial but if I forget to take my tablets or leave home without a front door key then it is a lot more important. For me all these are things that the old me would never do, so the new me gets frustrated with myself easily for relatively trivial things. It is at specific times that the sense of loss is felt more acutely for example:</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtp_xdtTwriocgW9D7T_d57ADrB66V-Quu9fZ69v3hgBknmj6X2GvQNpPNZrhEpn-bZWIKH4av4h7x9WdnEO7vWiMEvL8pltIksmB6Snd2zjC8ZL0tjxUrFUNT1_BmgyLtIvsoGuf0Z_A/s1600/vincelombardi382625.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtp_xdtTwriocgW9D7T_d57ADrB66V-Quu9fZ69v3hgBknmj6X2GvQNpPNZrhEpn-bZWIKH4av4h7x9WdnEO7vWiMEvL8pltIksmB6Snd2zjC8ZL0tjxUrFUNT1_BmgyLtIvsoGuf0Z_A/s320/vincelombardi382625.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">my birthday another year goes past and not sufficient progress in my recovery, my wedding anniversary I am not the same person who got married, Christmas is a time for lively family times but because of my cognitive problems I find I have to retreat into a shell as this helps insulate me from sensory overload. I now have to experience the anniversary of my stroke when all of the feeling and memories of that time come flooding back. So I honestly believe I have a right to mourn the loss of the old me. Don't mistake this for feeling sorry for myself, this feeling passed a long time go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The final thing that people think about their stroke anniversary is that it's just another day. Yes the day still has 24 hours each containing 60 minutes of 60 seconds. So in that sense it is just another day. I will wake up the same as always, I will have breakfast and then go about the normal business of the day whatever that might be. It is not just another day though, it is a day that I will remember when my life changed and not for the better. I will never get back to the person who existed before then. It's not that I don't like the new me but the old me had less worries and never had to wake up wondering whether it was going to be a good or bad stroke day. If you haven't got fed up reading this far I will ask you a question. Do you ever wake up and think "I am well and all is fine?" The answer is probably rarely. Well every morning I wake up and I don't think that. Every day I wake up and know that I have had a stroke and sometimes it is hard to cope with. I genuinely hope that tomorrow morning you wake up and think "I am well and everything is fine"</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPSuUK1l925f6HJl7t6igwJVrMymVEZtajuq0jdSK84ZY9Xzx0tuPuYyKHgFP_z-1P33WWl1bOictKV_HHqhPeIzOU1aTHcG_K4PB70NY6kTheIGBCpI3wAynRlYoS1Nt5AIERcBOokDk/s1600/17862428_1100381220066453_1158661813044439407_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPSuUK1l925f6HJl7t6igwJVrMymVEZtajuq0jdSK84ZY9Xzx0tuPuYyKHgFP_z-1P33WWl1bOictKV_HHqhPeIzOU1aTHcG_K4PB70NY6kTheIGBCpI3wAynRlYoS1Nt5AIERcBOokDk/s320/17862428_1100381220066453_1158661813044439407_n.jpg" width="307" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So for me its both a celebration of what is important in my life tinged with mourning for the lost me. To sum up my feelings on the first anniversary of my stroke I wish I hadn't had a stroke but sometimes you get dealt a hand of cards and you are stuck with them no matter how hard you want a new deal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Some very kind people have described me as inspirational for writing this blog or for continuing running but I don't think I am. All I am is an ordinary middle aged man, trying to live an ordinary middle aged life in the best way I can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you have managed to get to the end of this long blog post then well done I hope you enjoyed it. Happy first stroke anniversary to me. May there be many more to come!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-62241178426545512322017-04-13T14:33:00.001-07:002017-04-13T14:38:01.190-07:00Running after a stroke<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Many of you will know that I am a keen runner. I am not a great runner and have no aspirations to be nothing more than a keen plodder with the occasional race thrown in for good measure. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I started running when I decided that I needed to get serious about my health. I had been a diabetic for a few years and originally was told to use diet and exercise to control it. I was pretty good at the diet bit, but other than the occasional walk, I never did much exercise. There was no specific incident that got me started I guess i just thought it would be a good idea. It was an evening in February 2015 when I first put on my trainers and ventured out for a run. I always thought that even though I hadn't done much exercise i was in good shape. I was totally wrong. I couldn't even run to the end of my road before having to slow to a walk. I don't know how far I ran that evening but it was less than a mile. I could have easily given up that day, I was cold, tired and fed up that I wasn't as fit as I thought. I didn't give up though. The one thing that most people know about me is I am not a quitter. I carried on trying to go out a few times a week gradually increasing the distance I was running. Running in the evening around the estate where we live wasn't enthralling and I was starting to find my enthusiasm waning. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There were two things that were instrumental in me becoming a more serious runner. The first was that I decided to run the North Wales Half Marathon and raise money for Diabetes UK and the Diabetes service at my local hospital. It was great that my sister and her family also entered raising money for Diabetes as well. Having an event to train for kept me on the straight and narrow. I started to increase the frequency and distance I was running. I find that to keep me focused I need a target and the half marathon was just the thing to keep me running. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2I2eyOOLfuGUkjTn54NRWOumJsu_rNAy8gYFsdTJangoQ9cZ3A9VgjjMMM7GI5NAEjZRdUj40QD0ChqH4t4GbdLIKboYUeub26gKP6eRsqVla86x6gZct0FNFMBhOXPt4p13eHTieC9Q/s1600/Effort.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2I2eyOOLfuGUkjTn54NRWOumJsu_rNAy8gYFsdTJangoQ9cZ3A9VgjjMMM7GI5NAEjZRdUj40QD0ChqH4t4GbdLIKboYUeub26gKP6eRsqVla86x6gZct0FNFMBhOXPt4p13eHTieC9Q/s320/Effort.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I always finished parkrun with a sprint</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The second thing was that I found parkrun. I don't recall how I heard about it but I decided to give it a go. Again I thought that running with others would keep me focused. I went to my first parkrun in early May 2015. Straight away I knew that this was an event I really could get involved with. Everyone was very friendly and it was nice to see people that I knew from work and from previous jobs. When I first got there I expected everyone to be a lot quicker and fitter than me but I was wrong there were people of all abilities and fitness levels. I did not feel the slightest bit out of place. Parkrun became part of my normal week. If I wasn't able to run I missed it. If I was injured then I used to volunteer and that was just as enjoyable. If you are a runner at any level and are finding things tough going then give parkrun a go. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By the time the half marathon arrived in July 2015 I felt quite prepared but nothing quite prepared me for what the run entailed. I knew that it was a tough run but that's what I wanted. After all if you are going to raise money you have to push yourself; it has to be more than a walk in the park. The run started on the beach in Conway. The first 1.2 miles was along the beach it was firm sand as the tide had only just gone out. The route then went along the prom until mile 5 and after then it went up a mountain for 3.5 miles. The route dropped down back into Conway. The last 1.2 miles were back along the beach, by now the sand was soft. So after almost 12 miles of hard running there was the torture of running through soft sand. To add to the struggle I had a hypoglycemic attack (low sugar) around mile 11 when I had to stop and eat a sugar snack to boost my sugars to a safe level. The total climb during the race was 1,740 feet which is over one and half times the height of the Shard. I finished the run in 2:26 it was slower than I wanted but I was proud of what we had all achieved. My nephews and niece all finished well ahead of my and my sister and brother in law finished shortly after me. the biggest achievement that between us we had raised over £2,000 for diabetes research and diabetes services. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Having met the challenge of the half marathon I had definitely got the running bug and continued to run at least a few times a week. I also joined my local running club, the Saint Edmunds Pacers. Again this was another way to keep myself motivated particularly when the nights drew in and the weather worsened.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Coming in to 2016 I decided that I need to set a few more challenges and booked up for a number of races. These were the ones I entered:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Suffolk Cross Country Championship</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ickworth Park - Suffolk Trail Runners event</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Tarpley 10 mile race - a local event organised by my running club</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ickworth Park 10k organised by Hoohah</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thurston 10k run </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Flaming June half marathon.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It turned out I only ran the first four of these events before I had my stroke. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Suffolk Cross Championship was the muddiest race I have ever run in. There were parts where the mud was almost to your knees. the good news was that I was the 147th quickest cross country runner in Suffolk, I try and ignore the fact that I was fourth last to finish. I did enjoy the run but made a mental note not to run it again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Tarpley 10 was a road race through villages just outside Bury St Edmunds. I finished 262 out of 304 a result that I was very pleased with. I was a lovely day for running and i broke my 10 mile PB by over 5 minutes.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8j2FQkX3Xzt8BOXlsnHZ5Iyk6RxgN3VnpGuwMwZ69PVcl7gy5YJNKhJEQnco15GtJZpeJxfcmaV-p3t_InCyYMYFS5FszgExRfnS1MWDYTyDxrc5_xOuf3iQZxwWOssDao_mLSNc0yM/s1600/image3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8j2FQkX3Xzt8BOXlsnHZ5Iyk6RxgN3VnpGuwMwZ69PVcl7gy5YJNKhJEQnco15GtJZpeJxfcmaV-p3t_InCyYMYFS5FszgExRfnS1MWDYTyDxrc5_xOuf3iQZxwWOssDao_mLSNc0yM/s320/image3.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mud, mud, glorious mud</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The most significant race in my life happened on 17 April 2016. It was the Ickworth Park 10k. It was part of the Hoohah race series. The previous week there had been a significant amount of rain and we were warned that the course was very muddy in parts. The day itself was a lovely spring day and the sun was out although it was not too hot. I set myself the target of completing the race in under an hour. I thought that this was a reasonable target as although I could run 10k in under the hour given the conditions and that there were a number of steep hills (they were steep for East Anglia). The first part of the race was fairly easy with a gentle downhill section on a hard country track. I felt very good and confident about the pace I was running. Once the bottom of the hill was reached the ground became quite muddy and it became a task trying to spot a firm route through the mud. Again I was running well and kept a good pace but at a slower rate. I was passing more people than were passing me and this always make you feel good. Once we got the wooded section the mud became very bad and footing was difficult and it definitely slowed everyone down. At about 8km I lost my footing in the mud and fell quite hard onto my side into the mud. Fortunately wasn't too bad but you could clearly tell that I had fallen over. The rest of the run I had comments about falling over in the mud, they were encouraging though. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_WfDW7b_VYE10EaFF054YCUZ9wdApFXPBDM-4hbEPCymhSDdzmV0IevdKvU-QV0AhT8b51Ep1cxghCqo3hMbPWnc0J1-PGjw1dz4FGcaABYS1mlzQbyuRdxxOcGDqXggzOg-ptMH8Qo/s1600/image1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_WfDW7b_VYE10EaFF054YCUZ9wdApFXPBDM-4hbEPCymhSDdzmV0IevdKvU-QV0AhT8b51Ep1cxghCqo3hMbPWnc0J1-PGjw1dz4FGcaABYS1mlzQbyuRdxxOcGDqXggzOg-ptMH8Qo/s320/image1.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Crossing the finish line 30-40 minutes before my stroke</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The last 1.3 km of the race were uphill along the park roads. I looked at my watch and realised that I was not going to be under 1 hour unless I speed up considerably. I don't like not achieving my goals so I gradually sped up and then put my foot down for the last 400m. I ran this at a pace of 6.4 minute mile pace and managed to finish the race in 59:57. I hit my target with 3 seconds to spare and finished in 252 place out of 633. I confess that I knew I had pushed too hard as I wanted to be sick. However I wasn't but did have to lie down and recover. It was great to chat with other runners after the race although I decided to drive back home as I was feeling very tired. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCzS4d4sbfLHYpqXK1P8C5VKfyfTNWVI5uD5CvoZuDcE-19RqScZwy0rRp4sIsKOY5nLNKDgmernoAy_n2xP-1mlfEjkdkA4VgTFQ2gSSrvq4lLaIqMVIPZ5vZmQi8_GDiM7JHpoGge8/s1600/image2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCzS4d4sbfLHYpqXK1P8C5VKfyfTNWVI5uD5CvoZuDcE-19RqScZwy0rRp4sIsKOY5nLNKDgmernoAy_n2xP-1mlfEjkdkA4VgTFQ2gSSrvq4lLaIqMVIPZ5vZmQi8_GDiM7JHpoGge8/s320/image2.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My muddy legs a couple of minutes before my stroke</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After I got home I wasn't feeling great and after about 30 minutes I had my stroke. The only symptom I had was that I suddenly went blind and after a few minutes my vision appeared to come back (I didn't notice that I was missing 40% of my eyesight though). I didn't know I had a stroke I just thought I had a very sudden migraine. I thought a stroke was indicated by FAST (Face drooping, Arms limp, Speech slurred and Time) I didn't know that Balance and Eyesight problems are present in more than 50% of strokes. I am now an advocate of BE-FAST for recognising stroke. If you learn one thing from this blog remember BE-FAST it could save the life of you or someone you love. Although my stroke happened after a race there must have been underlying reasons for the clot to be there (I still don't know what those reasons are). What I do know is the over exertion in that race caused the clot somewhere in my body to shear off and travel to my brain where it caused irreparable harm. I won't go into anymore details of this time, you can read it in earlier blog posts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Since my stroke running is just as important in life as it was before. Exercise is something that is recommended for all stroke survivors. The only thing I am very conscious of while running is over exerting myself. I find this incredibly hard, I ask you who doesn't speed up towards the end of a race to get that one place closer to the front or knock that extra second off a PB. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Also when I run its like a sword of Damocles hanging over me. Will I have another stroke if I run that bit faster. The thought of another stroke is always at the forefront of my mind when running and not just in a race, even in training runs it is always there somewhere in my mind. People have said that I am brave for running after having a stroke after a race. I am not brave, to me its another thing I have to beat its not another runner but something that tried to kill me but failed. I am not going let it beat me or stop me doing something I love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I will finish with this long and rambling post with a shameless plug for the 10k I am running to raise money for my stroke rehabilitation service Icanho (part of livability). Please donate if you can, it may not be local to you but the work they do is essential and worth while. Follow the link below or you can text DRSW53 £10 to 70070. Please don't feel constrained by donating £10 you can donate any amount you would like, obviously the greater the amount the more use it can be put to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/DavidSwalesIcanho">https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/DavidSwalesIcanho</a></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-35877211855767175092017-03-28T11:17:00.001-07:002017-03-28T11:17:11.357-07:00Rehabilitation - Icanho<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In my last post I said I would do a post about the rehabilitation I have undertaken and what it has achieved. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fairly soon after my stroke it was suggested that I wold benefit from attending a rehabilitation service in Stowmarket. It was called Icanho and specialised in brain injury rehabilitation and this includes stroke. It was interesting that all the people involved in my stroke care recommended Icanho including a Neuropsychologist, my stroke consultant and my GP. Each of these people wrote referring me to Icanho. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to wait until 6 months had passed before they would see me. This was not a waiting list but they recommend that this amount of time passes so that things are fairly steady. Acceptance onto the programme was not automatic and this was quite concerning. I did think that they may believe that I was too well for them to help me. After all I could do a job at a certain level but I just couldn't do my job. I had spent many years training and gaining experience in my chosen field of finance, more specifically 24 years working at a senior level in NHS organisations. I am not prepared to give up all that effort to spend the latter part of my working life in a job that although capable of doing I didn't find as rewarding. Therefore getting into Icanho was very important.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2_aSqqwZIeGZGsTDbgtXV1oipBO9L99h7fjfn4XMujMjNCAKdVmGpglJavL8eQAEYyOXNpm12OhQbWdteJ9_fKAnuH0csDylzWqth-eaqAK2KFi_l6DUNDpYQ1j9ZRhLe-e-26f2nQFE/s1600/17203191_10208686000368109_9060482216805817692_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2_aSqqwZIeGZGsTDbgtXV1oipBO9L99h7fjfn4XMujMjNCAKdVmGpglJavL8eQAEYyOXNpm12OhQbWdteJ9_fKAnuH0csDylzWqth-eaqAK2KFi_l6DUNDpYQ1j9ZRhLe-e-26f2nQFE/s320/17203191_10208686000368109_9060482216805817692_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The process of getting into Icanho involved a number of assessment sessions including Speech and Language Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Psychology and Social Work. I found these very taxing and slept quite a lot afterwards. I even fell asleep in the car on the way home which is very unusual.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Stephanie and I were invited back to hear the result of the assessment. I think we were both concerned about the outcome. If they didn't accept me I had nothing to fall back on, there were no other options, no other services that were appropriate. It was a massive relief when they said that they would offer me a programme of care. I think that they were surprised that we had any doubts about being accepted. However, when you have so few options you end up fearing the worst no matter how unlikely. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was initially offered a six month programme that focused on Speech and Language Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Counselling. Physiotherapy was added at a later day when they found I had a minor balance issue, another impact of my stroke.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7t6SU-wY_ho-N7kbKUIs5M8FAPC6FZWtrimACfOt1CwvrpSnz7a28yCnyOcxrFZsDEZDpr2MMHc6XicsAfxHLX-CZEqqGG9m0Axch8oQVawZTI4IuzK7YnAqP5V7WiJfa0WEpZZ3tX4/s1600/15400898_10208016437349452_1395908123794967168_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7t6SU-wY_ho-N7kbKUIs5M8FAPC6FZWtrimACfOt1CwvrpSnz7a28yCnyOcxrFZsDEZDpr2MMHc6XicsAfxHLX-CZEqqGG9m0Axch8oQVawZTI4IuzK7YnAqP5V7WiJfa0WEpZZ3tX4/s320/15400898_10208016437349452_1395908123794967168_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">It's hard to understand how tiring rehabilitation is for a stroke survivor. One of the consequences of the cognitive difficulties is that I struggle with neurofatigue. It is not simply being tired, it is totally debilitating beyond anything a non brain injured person can really understand. I can end up being incoherent, making absolutely no sense at all. I would not complete words, sentences or get the words all mixed up. My Yoda impersonation would be in full flow. I might do silly things without realising it, although I have not hurt myself badly, there have been some close calls including putting my hand on a hot plate to see if it was on and cutting my forehead with a kitchen knife.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Rehabilitation is not an easy option and you have to work hard to get the best out of it. The one thing that has always been in my favour is my desire to recover and return fully to work. This determination has always been there and has never wavered.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">The staff at Icanho are truly exceptional, I have always felt very comfortable with all the staff there, including the office staff who have always been welcoming and helpful. The clinical staff are wonderful and they have made a massive difference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Speech and Language Therapy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">I was told by the clinicians that I should not have a problem with speaking given the location of the stroke. However, when I started with Icanho I had aphasia and they were clear that they see many people with speech problems when these would not be expected. This was a relief to hear as up to that point I didn't understand why speaking was a problem. The improvement in my speech has been the most dramatic. It is still an issue but i have learned that I don't always have to find the perfect word that there are many words that are just as good. There is definitely a psychological element to my aphasia as when I am in a more pressured or busy environment it gets worse. I am not sure whether this aspect will ever change but I will continue to work at it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Occupational Therapy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">This is the biggest element of my treatment programme and is specifically targeted at getting me back to work. It was clear fairly quickly that the main aspect of my cognitive problems was attention ie</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> the ability to concentrate on
something. To do this, the brain needs to
decide what to focus on and what to ignore. Sometimes when I focus on something, other things catch
my attention despite my best efforts to
ignore it. The distraction could be a noise, something I see or even a thought. This sounds simple to overcome but despite trying as hard as I can it still happens all the time. As part of this rehab I have had to develop strategies for dealing with even quite simple tasks such as making a cup of coffee, cleaning the aquarium taking my tablets. Even so I regularly have problem completing these tasks. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Counselling</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsLR1S5kaDNsVtHscGc7CpgVowU8f6DjXQUZYSIp5H9RZGSSwTZbMBE2PEcGns32PmoiUlhHStuTUGeGx_M49hK5yHTdMt5ZyFHyI-MTDdUVz9v-gRaH7NnDIwzwg5XcXEH-r8datnv_s/s1600/13939470_10207024363188218_3510458800458609703_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsLR1S5kaDNsVtHscGc7CpgVowU8f6DjXQUZYSIp5H9RZGSSwTZbMBE2PEcGns32PmoiUlhHStuTUGeGx_M49hK5yHTdMt5ZyFHyI-MTDdUVz9v-gRaH7NnDIwzwg5XcXEH-r8datnv_s/s320/13939470_10207024363188218_3510458800458609703_n.jpg" width="281" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have described in earlier blog entries about my struggling with depression. It is so common after stroke and yet as with most mental health problems it is the most neglected. Having counselling has helped considerably in coming to terms with my stroke. There are many things I could say about what I have learned such as the stroke was not just my fault alone. Up to this point I blamed myself entirely for what happened to me. If I had not pushed myself so hard at work or had asked for help. These were all things that made me blame myself. Counselling made me realise that there were so many other things that were contributors to my stroke that it was simply not right to blame myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Physiotherapy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Before I came to Icanho I didn't realise that I had a balance issue. While there I had an physio assessment and it showed that balance was a minor issue. I was given a range of balance exercises including standing on one leg with your eyes shut. You should try it its harder than it sounds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">I am not sure how much I can thank Icanho and there support and treatment. I am trying to thank them a bit by running a 10k to raise funds for them. If you want to donate please follow the link below.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/DavidSwalesIcanho</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-48005430768457320812017-02-11T05:12:00.001-08:002017-02-11T05:12:21.195-08:00Big catch up<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We all go through our lives with very little thought to our own mortality. We hardly ever think how fragile life is and how our decisions are automatically aimed towards our own preservation. We cross roads safely, most of us drive in a way that keeps us safe, when there is a steep cliff we keep away from the edge. It is summed up as follows:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i> The Instinct Theory of Motivation views biological or genetic programming as the cause of motivation. This claim means that all humans have the same motivations due to our similar biological programming. This theory says that the root of all motivations is the motivation to survive.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But what happens when something totally out of your control takes you to a point in your life where you are on a tightrope walk between life and death. There is nothing that you can do at that point that will have any impact on your survival. You simply can't step back onto the pavement, turn the steering wheel or step away from the cliff edge. I didn't even know when I had my stroke that I was even on a tightrope. I don't know how close I was to dying what if the clot was larger or damaged a different part of my brain. Looking back now I know that this was the closest I have been to dying and that I hadn't got a clue. I think that because I had a stroke I wasn't thinking rationally. If you ask yourself "what would I do if I suddenly went blind for a few minutes". Your response is unlikely to be that's a bit odd and do nothing. That was my response and I didn't do anything about it for a few hours.<br /><br /> I started writing this post in the final few days of 2016 this year will be remembered for the deaths of many celebrities and many people have been touched by the loss of so many great stars. Maybe you are a Prince, George Michael, Maurice White (Earth, Wind and Fire) fan or maybe music is not your thing and you have mourned the loss of great actors such as Alan Rickman, Carrie Fisher or Debbie Reynolds. While these deaths are very tragic we are remote from these people and only know them through their celebrity and their lives played out through either their art or through the media. We have no knowledge of them as people. What is more important to us are the things that have affected us personally during the year, whether this is the loss of a loved one, the break up of a relationship or as in my case a life changing illness. <br /><br />It is now February and I am determined that the posts that will happen from now on will be a lot more positive. I am by nature a positive person. In terms of the timeline since my stroke there are a few things that happened that I should catch you up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In July I went for a check up at the hospital. I was having a particularly fuzzy day and was not making a great deal of sense. The consultant was quite concerned as the last time he had seen me I was reasonably lucid. He was so worried that he admitted me to hospital there and then. He thought that I might have had another stroke. After a MRI it was confirmed that I had not had a further stroke. I spent 4 days in the stroke ward. It was not a nice place to be. The rest of the patients were a lot older (the youngest in my bay was 25 years older than me). They were also a lot sicker than I was. It was quite a sobering experience being on the stroke ward. The doctors, nurses and other staff were truly amazing, particularly the nurses. Its not until you experience an inpatient stay do you truly understand the care that nurses and healthcare assistants provide. Whilst it was a difficult experience I will forever appreciate the job they all do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">July was also the month where both of the children graduated from their university courses. Whilst I was dreading the day and hoping that I would have a good day they turned out to be wonderful days. You are always proud of your children's achievements but their graduations were both celebrations of how far they both have come in their lives. We were immensely proud of them both.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipnc-E9Gihkud7_4BN7G4EMTvqnuXeRA9VtiQUIquHE6zI-ao8lUtwVbammcPkHm3gDbpn3a-Y_nKvxgskyfnDAaFOEqRk1E_N049fPfuxfak4MJo8dUCQ1wBurF9gnQNqa6w-xea0vfU/s1600/15621597_10208077430754249_3774250374693674649_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipnc-E9Gihkud7_4BN7G4EMTvqnuXeRA9VtiQUIquHE6zI-ao8lUtwVbammcPkHm3gDbpn3a-Y_nKvxgskyfnDAaFOEqRk1E_N049fPfuxfak4MJo8dUCQ1wBurF9gnQNqa6w-xea0vfU/s320/15621597_10208077430754249_3774250374693674649_n.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">At the end of July we went on holiday to America. This was again something I had reservations about but it was a great holiday. I did have to take it easy and planned rest into most of the days. I also didn't feel too much of a burden. I did enjoy the holiday a great deal. My favourite part was meeting up with old friends both in Tennessee and Georgia. We spent about a week with our friends in Georgia and I was able to relax and enjoy their company. It really was a special time catching up and relaxing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am not sure there is much more to catch up on in terms of specific events although I will post further about my rehabilitation and starting running again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-28705423796566664102016-12-29T09:28:00.000-08:002016-12-29T09:28:02.899-08:00Further tough times<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemgCRfV1o3p2gfaU7JqoFMpRYNQ_BtH_htvdK2RFX6MfXbRIip-aFm9fZL7xOzQ29QTDc4jFUR2J9juCb0AZhCPNthkxPI3F7RGVR-awmnViruhkkZDeUxVZaKoB-d_JvyhAoMwsl7k4/s1600/14316715_766949280113209_7341109416062765102_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjemgCRfV1o3p2gfaU7JqoFMpRYNQ_BtH_htvdK2RFX6MfXbRIip-aFm9fZL7xOzQ29QTDc4jFUR2J9juCb0AZhCPNthkxPI3F7RGVR-awmnViruhkkZDeUxVZaKoB-d_JvyhAoMwsl7k4/s320/14316715_766949280113209_7341109416062765102_n.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It has been a very long time since I have posted anything in my blog. The reason I haven't posted is that I discovered that my parents found my blog and it made me feel uncomfortable that they were reading things that I didn't want them to read. I don't want them to worry too much. I know I can't stop them reading this but I hope that they accept that this is something that helps me and is not meant to cause worry. So to pick up where I left off......</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is another quite tough post to make although I actually feel positive about its consequences. It does describe how depression can have a cumulative impact on a person.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to have an echocardiogram to see if there were any obvious reasons for my stroke. It was very interesting watching the images on the screen. They meant nothing at all to me. At the end of the test I was told that there were obvious signs of a stroke but that I have a heart defect. I have a bicuspid valve. this happens when two of the three leaves of a valve fuse together. It is quite a common defect and doesn't normally require any specific attention although it can cause problems in later life. As a result of this I will have to have regular echocardiograms. I will also require a small heart monitor to be inserted into my chest to check for other irregularities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It seems to me that what else could get thrown at me: first a stroke, then kidney stones and now a heart defect. Whilst the most serious issue was the stroke it did seem that there was a never ending stream of issues were arising. As the heart defect was hereditary I told my dad and asked him to let the rest of my sisters and brother know. They could also have the defect and I wanted to make sure that they were aware so they could get themselves tested if they wished.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was shortly after this that I had a run of four consecutive days where a series of events affected me and were difficult to deal with. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">First: someone i knew of had a stroke at about the same time as me. Initially he was in a much worse condition than me and was in intensive care for some time. The thing that affected me that within a few months since his stroke he was almost fully recovered whereas I felt I had made little progress. I had permanent sight loss and there was no news of any rehab for the problems with executive function. I was pleased that he had made so much progress it was hard to accept that I had had made no significant improvement.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Second: the MP Jo Cox was murdered. This was a terrible event that shocked the world. I could not stop thinking about her children and that they would grow up without their mother. The coverage was wall-to-wall and in hindsight I should have turned it off. I didn't and the distress that this event caused was preying on my mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Third: the 3 month anniversary of my stroke. I have started to consider my stroke as a different person inside of me. This new person was doing their best to bring me down and it was my job to fight it and eventually beat it. When you start dating someone there is an initial period where you remember little anniversaries, first week, first month etc. It is like that with my stroke and I had reached another little anniversary 3 months or one quarter of a year. Again this made me think about what had happened, how it had affected me and how little progress I had made. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fourth: it was my 28th wedding anniversary. You can't help but reminisce about the person you were when you got married. 28 years ago I had a full head of hair, a happy personal life, a job that I worked hard at and enjoyed, I also had a brain that functioned properly. Comparing that day with now, I still have a very happy personal life but I have a lot less hair, a job that I love but cannot do and a damaged brain that is struggling to recover.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So these four things on consecutive days added together made me feel very down. It really seemed that my stroke was winning. It is difficult not to start to wallow in self pity and really get you into a bad position. The one thing that I have always had on the positive side is Stephanie and Benjamin and Bethany. I know that they have also struggled with my stroke both the shock and worry of the initial event but also of how how it has changed my life. They are always with me no matter what I am doing if not physically then they are in my mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So I say to my stroke you will not beat me. I am a strong person and I have a lot of support that means that if I stumble they will stop me falling!!</span><br />
<br />David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-48883867389380561702016-09-19T13:38:00.000-07:002016-09-19T13:38:04.377-07:00My stroke aged my brain by thirty years in a matter of moments<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9VuHcUvvrb8rCK3z-tW7-13w2-JE9CnEx-r5dOAeSlAZn9YaB1Aw09MvFewbwwCbGuUfLE6HGbVO7s4dPVPGdeNTtPD3PeeMnArYXuIRdQ7KoNqjLATE8YElf7-y5uwEQ3Wvzk_PZL_Q/s1600/Thinking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9VuHcUvvrb8rCK3z-tW7-13w2-JE9CnEx-r5dOAeSlAZn9YaB1Aw09MvFewbwwCbGuUfLE6HGbVO7s4dPVPGdeNTtPD3PeeMnArYXuIRdQ7KoNqjLATE8YElf7-y5uwEQ3Wvzk_PZL_Q/s320/Thinking.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I haven't posted for a little while and thought it was about time that I did an update. It's difficult to remember all the things that were happening at this time. There were lots of appointments for various issues associated with my stroke. The one thing I hadn't heard about was an appointment about my loss of eyesight. I was told that I would hear from the orthoptist about an evaluation. I decided to phone the stroke service and ask. This is the only part of my care that fell below a high standard. Over a couple of days I left messages on the answer machine but no response. After a number of tries I managed to get hold of someone who said that someone would phone me back later that day. No one phoned. I have noticed since my stroke that I get very anxious about what people say and do. I was starting to get stressed about this as an issue. I phoned again and was told the same thing and there was still no phone call. I did have to go to the hospital for a blood test so I stopped by the office. I managed to catch my boss and mentioned that there had been no contact from the eye service. It is the only time that I have used my employment to bypass a system. I had a phone call that day and an emergency appointment the following day. The person apologised as I had slipped through the system and should have had the appointment a couple of weeks after the stroke.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went to the appointment the next day and my eyesight was assessed. It didn't tell me anything new but I was told that it was unlikely to recover the eyesight loss as the majority of improvement comes in the first couple of days.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Any change beyond would be slow and marginal. The tests undertaken would set a benchmark for future tests to be compared against. After the orthoptist I met with the low vision coordinator who spoke to me about the various organisations that assisted with sight loss. The one devastating news was that it was suggested that I returned my driving licence. Although I had suspected that this was a likely outcome it still comes as a shock. If you are a driver think about how much your life would change if you were told you can never drive again. For me it was about a total loss of independence. I could never just nip into town, go to get DIY supplies or take rubbish to the dump. More dramatically it would mean reliance on others for longer trips such as visiting the children, other relatives or holiday trips. In the past I have always done all of the longer trips. I don't really know why but that's one of my "jobs" in the family. I must have looked down about being told to return my driving licence as later that day I had a call from my GP's surgery enquiring after my mental health. I was asked if I thought I might hurt myself. My answer was emphatically no!! Although I know I was depressed I have never once considered harming myself. I understand why I got the call and it was appreciated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The request to return my licence brought into sharp focus our impending holiday to America. The planned holiday involved a significant amount of driving (almost 2,000 miles) and I was the only one who was able to drive the hire car. Stephanie had got a great deal on car hire many months previously. We contacted the company and they would not accept a change to the main driver as it would have to be a new contract. It was going to cost £500 more and they would not allow Ben to drive as he was under 25. Eventually we found a car hire company that would accept Ben as a driver but it was a lot more expensive than the previous deal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We started to look into how our holiday insurance would be affected. We had taken previously taken out a family annual travel policy with Barclays. Although I anticipated that they would want an increased premium I didn't expect them to refuse to insure me. I understand that they have to manage risk but to turn round and say no we wont insure you was a surprise. I tried a few places and was surprised by one insurer which had a very cheap policy. It wasn't until i saw the exclusions that I realised the reason. There were exclusions for anything to do with stroke, diabetes or kidney stones. I had another quote of £2,500 for just the time of our holiday. We eventually managed to find a more reasonable policy that only cost an additional £300.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Even with the added expense there was still the question of whether I should travel anyway. I had been advised that there was no medical reason why I should not fly. It was always caveated with the proviso that I would have to feel up to it. I was always told that I would have to take things easy while I was there. After a lot of thought I decided that it was best for the family as a whole to go on the holiday. We had been planning for it for so long to cancel now would be a very negative thing to do. Cancelling would have been bad for my depression and would have added to the guilt that I had been feeling since my stroke.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am not sure what else to add at this point, its not been the best of posts but it isn't always doom and gloom. Someone did say that I should note down some of the silly things I have done since my stroke. I will share one now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>I was on hold to speak to someone and it was taking ages. I decided to not waste the time and started to clean out the aquarium. Instead of putting the phone on speaker i decided to hold it with my shoulder. I am sure you have guessed that i managed to drop the phone into the aquarium. Whilst that was a silly thing to do it is not the point of this story. My sister in law told Stephanie that the best thing to do was to put the phone in a plastic bag with some rice and put it in the airing cupboard. I said I would do this and went away and sorted it out. Go forward a couple of days and Stephanie remembered the phone and asked me to get it out of the airing cupboard. I replied that I hadn't put it in the airing cupboard but had left it in the freezer. Believe you me, it was totally finished off after a few days at minus twenty. In my defence I must have got confused as I had got out a freezer bag!!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To all of you who are saying "that's the sort of thing that I do" remember you may do forgetful tings occasionally but I do it all the time. I know that old age has an impact on memory and that as you get older forgetful things do increase. My stroke aged my brain by thirty years in a matter of moments, that is the reality that I am facing. The good news is that as I recover my brain will find ways to rewire itself and I will hopefully have a brain that's the same age as the rest of my body.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-56455000320380739282016-09-07T12:53:00.001-07:002016-09-07T13:44:32.397-07:00Executive function and depression<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjotlr2qFjgO0yOpV_LiMe46qHa0mSRAJVRTkev1XLhkIAnpAk3e7sZzdAh6yGWemCvItl3N19M4tyWYcZw-lS_PRsIyBs8HDWCsmBfckDsmfRWNOuF3Zt-G4LbqOxoW-H1JEIF790o22k/s1600/The+fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjotlr2qFjgO0yOpV_LiMe46qHa0mSRAJVRTkev1XLhkIAnpAk3e7sZzdAh6yGWemCvItl3N19M4tyWYcZw-lS_PRsIyBs8HDWCsmBfckDsmfRWNOuF3Zt-G4LbqOxoW-H1JEIF790o22k/s320/The+fire.jpg" width="228" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I will start this blog with a picture, it's quite a positive quote, it seemed to sum up what it is like to have a stroke and to survive. This post deals with some difficult issues and at times they appear to be an all consuming fire and unless you fight you will be swallowed up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Life started to settle down into a regular routine of hospital, GP, rehab, walks etc. There were a number of things that I was waiting for. One of which was a neurological assessment by a consultant psychologist. This had been arranged and then cancelled as the psychologist was off sick. I was concerned about the assessment as it was to look further into the problems I was having thinking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They day came and the assessment took 4.5 hours to undertake. After this I was totally exhausted mentally and it took several days to recover. I found the process interesting as it used a lot of testing that was statistically based and as I had done a degree in statistics it was something I could understand. The results of the assessment were quite distressing. The good news was I was described as follows:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mr Swales is a Superior-functioning individual whose verbal </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and non-verbal effectiveness place him between the 99th and 95th percentiles. These levels are slight underestimates.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is a direct quote and the scoring was based on some baseline knowledge tests that did not require significant brain power to do. The recognition of this is something that was important to me as the previous tests did not take into account my abilities before the test and certainly took no account of my age. The previous tests made me look good as I was being compared to other stroke survivors who were typically 25-30 years older than me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The tests continued and I did some well and some badly dependent on what they were. The tests I recall were:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Colours were written in a different colour to the word. I've the word blue was written in red ink. I had to say the colour of the ink. I knew that I struggled with the exercise as I took a long time and made a few errors. When the results came back I was shocked. I had scored in the zero percentile. This meant that compared to the non brain injured population I would have finished bottom.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to name as many animals and fruit alternating between the two, I think they had to begin with certain letters as well. Although I was accurate and switched well between the categories I didn't name enough to have a score that counted. I.e. I was in the zero percentile.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to link letters and number in increasing order I.e. 1-a-2-b-3-c etc. I knew I had done badly and the result showed this as I was in the 35th percentile.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The tower of Hanoi. When I saw this test come up I was really confident as I used to do this a lot as a child. I decided to be methodical about the exercise as I knew that was the key. I managed to do all of the tasks and although I knew I was slow I was pleased. Unfortunately I was a lot worse than I thought. I was accurate and did get to the right answers I took a lot more moves and time than I was supposed to. I was back into the zero percentile again.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had to describe a word that was given and these increased in difficulty and became more abstract. I would get points depending on how I described the word 5 marks for a perfect answer. An example was the word yesterday. All I could say that it wasn't today and pointed backwards. I got 2 marks. The correct answer was the day before today. I could not find the correct definition even though I knew what it was. I did okay on this test but only around the 40th percentile.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There were other tests but I don't recall them. When looking at my performance the consultant said that it was important to compare how I did compared to the baseline assessments of a superior functioning individual as this would show the level of impairment that I suffered. It was clear from this that I had significant impairment in some areas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The conclusion of the report was that I have a pronounced impairment of my executive function. The report stated:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Executive demands, however, reduce his efficacy from the 95th through to the 77th to the 0th percentiles for Working Memory, Verbal Fluency and Paced Mental Control/Inhibition.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Executive demands compromise Mr Swales’ effectiveness, and time pressure especially impairs it. He is highly susceptible to distraction, interference and intrusive errors. He is unable to martial his abilities, to regain and to redirect focus on the problem, and to generate a solution within prescribed time constraints.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The report also said that it could take up to a year of specialised rehabilitation before I would get back to my pre-stroke abilities. As I haven't yet started this rehab (my rehab starts in September 2016) it is a very long time away.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The report was quite a shock and was </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">enormously upsetting. The psychologist also stated that I was depressed. I had realised that I had days that were difficult emotionally but this was the first time someone described it as depression. I have read up a lot about stroke and it is very clear that depression is a common occurrence in stroke survivors particularly those who are still of working age. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There have been many days when things have got too much for me and it is difficult to deal with those emotions. I tried not to show these emotions too much as I am not used to being emotional in public or in private for that matter. I didn't want to show I was weak to Stephanie or the children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had a GP appointment early one morning and I was in the waiting room by myself. I was looking round the walls and seeing the illnesses and things that people suffered from. All I could think of was that my life consisted of an endless procession of appointments, with people telling me it will all be alright. But it was simply not true. Things will never be alright, I will always have to deal with some impact of my stroke whether it was the eyesight, problems with words or thinking. At that moment it got too much for me and I started crying in the doctors surgery. Fortunately my GP called me in at that point. He was very good and reassuring and he was able to talk about what I was feeling. He did prescribe anti depressants and arranged for another appointment. He also set up some counselling to help. It's hard to describe how I felt and although I had become depressed recently I started to appreciate how debilitating it can be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know that i am a strong person and that the fire inside of me burns bright, but there are times when that fire dims but i know that it will not be extinguished. I will not let my stroke ruin my life. There is so much more I want to do - I might not know what but my stroke will not define my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">All my posts at the moment seem to be describing bad times. I do have good times as well and things do get better. However, I am sure I will get into the topic of depression again, but I will leave it for the time being. </span><br />
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-59685337104464616032016-09-03T06:46:00.001-07:002016-09-03T06:46:16.521-07:00My wish for one day<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My wish for one day:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will wake up and not have to think what challenge </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will face today</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not have to explain why I struggle with words</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> think</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> without my mind twisting itself inside </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">out</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not have to face things about my life that scare me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not face things in my life that make me sad</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will be able to read a book or watch a film</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not feel guilty for not working</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will be able to return to my job and not worry about failing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will feel confident about going for a run</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will remember the name of everyone I meet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will be spontaneous and not plan everything I do</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not do ridiculous things however funny</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not worry about bumping into people and saying sorry</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will not feel so tired that the least action exhausts me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My wish for one day is that i don't know I have had a stroke.</span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-53077940562725729742016-08-27T15:24:00.000-07:002016-08-29T13:53:59.149-07:00A difficult time<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is a difficult post to make as it describes a very difficult few days. I decided that I would run a parkrun. It was less than a month since my stroke. Physically I was feeling okay and thought that running would be a good step forward. I had checked out with my GP if it was okay to run and he agreed as long as I didn't push myself too hard and stopped if I needed to. I had arranged for someone from parkrun to be my guide both for eyesight purposes and also to slow me down to a easy pace. We agreed that 35 minutes for 5k would be about right.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The run itself was great and I completed it in just over 34 minutes. It was my slowest ever parkrun but it was my biggest accomplishment. When I came into the finish area all my parkrun friends were waiting to cheer me in. I was on cloud nine as I was back running and there were people who cared enough to wait to cheer me in. I felt okay, a bit tired, but no ill effects at all. I think Stephanie was relieved that I was okay and I had lots of positive comments and people saying I was brave. I didn't feel brave as it was a simple thing to do. In retrospect I understand why people thought that, as the last time I had run I had a stroke.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have described this as a difficult post and so far all I have described is very positive. The difficulty comes with the reaction to the run. I was fine the rest of the day although I did feel quite tired. It started to be difficult in the evening when I had a feeling of overwhelming tiredness. I went to bed early but the fatigue got worse and worse. It got to such a stage that I could not have cared if I woke up the next morning. I almost expected to die that night. It is not that I wanted to, it was just that I couldn't care. It's a strange thing to describe having fatigue that great that you have more or less given up. I was not unhappy or sad so it was not something relating to depression. I would not anyone to think that I wanted to die but the feeling of fatigue was so great that it seemed inevitable that I would not wake up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next morning I woke up and although I was feeling a bit better I still couldn't do much because of the fatigue. I didn't tell anyone about the previous night as there didn't seem much point as I was still alive. The next evening the same thing happened and the fatigue got worse and worse. This cycle repeated for three nights. I gradually felt better during the day but the nights were a real struggle. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I really understand what it is like to have fatigue. No disrespect to anyone who says they have fatigue but until you get to a point where you genuinely don't care whether you live or die then you don't truly understand what it's like. I have struggled with fatigue from my diabetes but this fatigue was on a level greater than I can adequately explain. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I made the decision that it would be a long time before I would run a parkrun again. I wanted to be involved as parkrun is an important part of my life. I decided that I would volunteer as this would keep me involved but not risk getting that fatigued again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There have been lots of inspirational quotes that I have seen posted on the Internet. After this experience one of the quotes I saw was the one below and has become the name of the blog.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUN50xm5xXPkvrEc6ysN7aEjbNNlvCIF-lgu1T7inFcxUe-c52cXBht3W66Mmae_C2eTxTCjsyD5515eThPswpQo1GdFP9N88YsL-yFuQJ_7jLZ_k2Z-VCz8ax6coAwWSCzr-5ld6JWgw/s1600/It+doesnt+get+easier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUN50xm5xXPkvrEc6ysN7aEjbNNlvCIF-lgu1T7inFcxUe-c52cXBht3W66Mmae_C2eTxTCjsyD5515eThPswpQo1GdFP9N88YsL-yFuQJ_7jLZ_k2Z-VCz8ax6coAwWSCzr-5ld6JWgw/s320/It+doesnt+get+easier.jpg" width="286" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am determined to come through this experience so even though things may not be easy I am determined to come out of the experience a stronger person. The battles that each of us face day by day determine the person we become. I don't want to be known as a stroke victim I want to be defined as a stroke survivor. Getting stronger in my inner self is the key to becoming a stronger person. My stroke’s job is to push me backwards, on bad days the stroke is winning on good days the opposite is true and I become stronger. At the moment the stroke is in charge and I am on the losing side, as time goes by I am confident that the better days will outweigh the bad days. When this happens I will be winning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><img src="webkit-fake-url://10b1ea85-a1f8-4bb1-ad29-7376a1106b4e/imagejpeg" /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-21852956042943349062016-08-23T12:56:00.003-07:002016-08-23T13:35:59.639-07:00What it's like living with a stroke - part 1This is a little jump forward in time. I will go back to the history in my next post.<br />
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I am currently in America enjoying the delights of a Disney hotel. It is currently 98 degrees although taking account of the humidity it feels like 107 degrees. The hotel is air conditioned but I am sitting in the shade enjoying some peace and quiet. Stephanie, Ben and Bethany are currently in Disney Springs shopping. One of the things I have learned to do is to make sure that I have times and days where I can totally relax. The one thing about Disney is that there is so much to do and so much to see that forcing yourself to relax is difficult.<br />
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Looking back on the time since my stroke it is hard to believe all the things I have gone through. The stroke is only the beginning of a journey. The first step on the journey is surviving the stroke itself. The remaining journey is dealing with the impacts whether physical, psychological or emotional. Physically I am very fortunate as the stroke only affected my eyesight. The rest of it is not so simple and some of my previous posts have highlighted these.<br />
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There are some things I have learnt about people and how they react to me having a stroke and how they have responded.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Fear - there are people who know me and think how did it happen to David. He is slim, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink much, eats a healthy diet and is a regular runner. If he can have a stoke what will stop me from having a stroke. To these people I would say there is nothing you should fear I was just unfortunate. However you should watch your diet and exercise more, it will help your health and you will feel better. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Pity - there is no need to pity me. I am what I am and feeling pity will not make me feel better it will just make you feel worse. By all means be sad that this has happened but feeling pity is very negative and positivity is what I need. Of course I regret that this has happened but I strongly believe that my stroke will help others both in terms of improving their lifestyle but will help people identify stroke by considering that the acronym FAST excludes sudden eye problems. Remember this was the only symptom I had.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Kindness - without doubt whatever people thought about my stroke everyone has responded with kindness. There are people who go out of their way to keep in contact whether through regular messages on Facebook, phone calls or taking me for walks or coffee, visiting me in hospital. There are some very special people in these categories who have really gone out of their way to keep in contact. They know who they are. Even simple things like encouraging me when I did a parkrun make a difference.</li>
</ul>
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<br />
<ul>
<li>He can walk, talk and post on the Internet so he must be better - there are people who do think that as I am active that I should be doing all of the things I used to do. If you have ever thought that I should be back at work or doing more physical things then this applies to you. However the chances of this group reading this blog means that they will never read this. They are out there though.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Practical help - there are people who respond in a very positive way. This is very closely linked to the kindness attribute as without this the practical side doesn't come out. Simple things like trimming an overgrown hedge, running with me at a parkrun, taking me out for coffee all have a practical side to them. At its purest level it makes me feel cared for.</li>
</ul>
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<br />
<ul>
<li>Insensitive - I have had people be rude to me, mainly after bumping into them. Maybe they don't realise the problems I have even though when I respond it is very clear that I have issues. They are in the minority but they are there. It has made me realise how easy it is to make assumptions about someone even though they may appear to be in tip top health. I think I have become more aware of minor disabilities and am careful to ensure that I give them all the respect they are due. It is tough living with any impairment.</li>
</ul>
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I read an article about stroke and friends. The premise is that the vast majority of stroke survivors will lose friends. A stroke is like a magic trick "abracadabra and some of your friends disappear". There could be straightforward issues such as the person may be physically disabled and all their "running club friends" no longer see them so they drift apart. However, a large number of friends disappeared because they didn't know how to respond to the stroke survivor. The easy answer is treat me like you did before. If i find things difficult I will tell you.<br />
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I will finish for the moment. My next post will be a difficult post as it deals with a time when I had a deeply distressing few days. I will leave with a picture that was posted in the stroke survivors Facebook group<br />
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"> </span><img src="webkit-fake-url://e2604402-45bc-4763-96ec-1f977a590e95/imagejpeg" /><br />
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<ul>
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-77823575052739196852016-08-03T02:09:00.002-07:002016-08-16T11:39:07.120-07:00More problems<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have not posted for a while as I have had computer problems that have yet to be resolved and I have been in holiday in America. I am trying to get a bit of a catch up during a quiet day on holiday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Coming to terms with what happened is a slow process. You have a real sense of your own mortality. I had a feeling that I dodged a bullet that day as I had lots of what if questions: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> • What if the clot had been bigger?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> • What if the clot went furtyiher?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> • What if the stroke had happened when I was driving home?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know I was fortunate to have so little physical disability but the mental injuries were starting to bother me. I have always been a person who enjoys a mental challenge whether that be a quiz show on TV or a difficult problem at work. I now struggled to think through even basic ideas.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The days now were a mix of gentle exercise (going round the block) visits from the occupational therapist and nothing. I never thought that I would be able to cope with doing so little but I was not getting bored. My tanks were running on empty I went from hour to hour without doing anything and not caring.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">About two weeks after my stroke I went to bed and started to feel unwell. I had a sharp pain in my back. It was incredibly painful. Your mind really races as you start to worry about whether this was another stroke. I called down to Stephanie but she didn't hear me as she was asleep. I messaged her hoping that the tone would wake her. I messaged Ben to text her as the different sound might wake her, but it didn't. In the end I had to go go downstairs even though I was in a lot of pain. Once I was down, Stephanie went into full panic mode as she could see I was in a lot of pain. She phone the out of hours doctor who advised us to go to the GP at the hospital.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stephanie drove there and I was in sudden severe bouts of pain. I was seen quickly by the GP who suggested I had kidney stones. He gave me the choice of being admitted to the hospital, wait in A&E for six hours (the new computer system E-care had just been implemented) or go home with morphine and go and see the GP the next day. Without even thinking I wanted to go home. I didn't wanted to be admitted and the thought of waiting in A&E for that long was was almost too much to bear. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We walked to the car and every so often the pain came back so strongly I could hardly walk and my legs kept buckling with the severe pain. We went home, I took the morphine and had a very uncomfortable night’s sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went to the GP the next day and he arranged for an ultrasound and prescribed a muscle relaxant. I was taking the full dose of morphine and I did not like it at all. It made me feel so dopey and as if my head was full of sand, but the good news was that it helped with the pain. I had the ultrasound later that day - don't anyone think that the NHS takes ages to get anything done. My experience to date was that it was very efficient. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had a further GP appointment and that showed that I had passed the kidney stone. He told me that it must have been quite a small stone. TBelieve me that I have never known such pain from something not much bigger than a grain of sand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Life continued with the routine of walk, rest, TV, occupational health etc. I still wasn't doing much to exercise my brain. I was making a lot of mistakes in sequencing (doing daily tasks out of order). I made lots of cups of coffee without any coffee, making sandwiches in odd orders. I put bread into the fridge, used plates back into the clean cupboard to name a few. I was regularly bumping into people and things as a result of being careless with scanning in front of me. This was more apparent in the house as I was more relaxed and I thought I knew where things were located. If there was a door open I would bump into it, a chair out of place then that would be easy to trip over. I almost sent the kitchen table flying as I was being over confident and walked into it very quickly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did manage to do something that was quite dangerous. I wanted to see if a hot plate was on. Instead of looking at the oven knob I just put my hand on the hot late. It was on!! Fortunately it was on a low setting so it wasn't too bad. This accident showed how my brain was thinking. If you want to find out if something was hot you touch it. The correct thing was to look at the dial or the hot plate on light. But to me you need to touch something to find the temperature.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will sign off for now.</span><br />
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<br />David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-50452601629638801582016-08-03T02:09:00.000-07:002016-08-03T02:09:33.678-07:00Minor update<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I haven't been able to post for a while as I have been back in hospital for a suspected stroke - fortunately it wasn't. Also I have had major computer problems and these aren't resolved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I will not be able to post for a few weeks as I am on holiday plus the computer problems.</span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-76518827399428359372016-07-19T00:24:00.003-07:002016-07-19T00:26:14.892-07:00Realisation<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next few days were both good and bad. The good was that both children came home to see me. They were not originally planning to come back but they both wanted to see me. It was quite emotional for me as I was supposed to be the strong one of the family and here I was the weakest one. I can't really describe fully how happy I was to see them but it was fantastic. Even though Bethany could only stay a short time it was just so nice to spend time with her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We didn't tell the children much about the stroke other than I had temporarily lost part of my eyesight and I was having a few problems with words. Both of them had dissertations and exams to worry about so Stephanie and I agreed it was thing to do. I took the same approach with my parents who are both in their eighties. I didn't want to worry them too much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My elder sister Cathy was great and phoned me regularly just to see how I was getting on. I am sure she was worried but she is so calm and reassuring it helped me a lot. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was also inundated with cards and presents from all over the place, I don't think I have ever received so many cards. It was lovely to read what people had said and it did help so much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We are very fortunate to have so many good friends. I regularly got messages from many people, particularly Diana and Kathy. They were great as they always cheered me up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The title of today's blog is realisation as during this time I started to learn about the problems I would be facing. I had the speech therapist come to see me and she went through a number of tests around speech and working memory. Although I did well at some tests I did very badly at others. The one I can recall was that she read me a story and I had to explain what was going on. I could not understand at all. She read it again and once more it was not making any sense. I found this very upsetting and that was the first time I appreciated there was more wrong than I thought. Its hard to explain what was happening in my mind. I was trying hard to think about what was happening but my head just filled up with nothing and my mind went really fuzzy. It was just too difficult. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There were also some mathematical problems that were quite straightforward but i struggled with them. This was more apparent if the problem was put into more real life situations with multiple steps. ie a man has 8 apples and gives away a half of them but someone returned half of his etc. I got them all right but it took a long time. The frustrating thing about this was that this was recorded as good. In fact the therapist said I had done the best that she had seen. AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! With total respect to her she doesn't know me and the majority of her clients are a lot older than me. I am an a Mathematics graduate and have been in accountancy and finance for 32 years, these type of questions I could do instantly before my stroke. For doing so well there was no recognition of what I felt about my performance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The whole experience was exhausting and I felt very low. Although I didn't know at the time this was the first real sign of depression that I was experiencing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The problem with not understanding stories made something I had experienced make sense. I watched the first Hunger Games movie and I could not really understanding what was happening and I did not enjoy it at all. I can remember things that happened but not why, nor could I set it in context to the rest of the film. Some might say that this is a problem with the Hunger Games movies. Interestingly I had no problem with films I had seen before and particularly Disney movies. I guess that was my level at the moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I will sign off for now as I have tired myself out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-34374611885072085582016-07-15T01:49:00.000-07:002016-07-15T01:49:09.693-07:00The next few days<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have not posted for a few days as I have either been so tired or confused for the last few days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't remember the next few days very well and i will have to rely on the posts and messages on Facebook. I decided fairly early that I would be open about what has happened for two reason. The first is that writing about it gave me a outlet for my feelings and the the second is that if i raise awareness about stroke and its impact then maybe it would help someone else. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My first post made light of what happened as all I said that my chances of running in the Rio Olympics had been shattered by having a stroke. (note: for those of you don't know me this was not a realistic proposition. I am a keen but rubbish runner). The response to this initial post was very touching with many people expressing concern. The most predominant response was that of shock. How can someone who eats healthily and keep themselves fit have a stroke. As I was mentioned on the Stroke Unit, I was the fittest person on the unit. After the post I got lots of direct messages asking about me and again this was touching. No matter how many people are with you stroke is a lonely place and messages and contacts are always a pleasure to receive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">People shared photos with me such as the one below:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXNf70Ul3iNU6jq8PU0hRYSEot_jb5dneWBu6XJM1ZLITPlJBEiCwd043LixTN0G4Ee32RZsLQ0nCVX3d8L37NsURzsCkzpYHL6wuXMcNhzl9k0aXq2uj1hTq0kEiB3g1kpYcR60_ZQg/s1600/image1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXNf70Ul3iNU6jq8PU0hRYSEot_jb5dneWBu6XJM1ZLITPlJBEiCwd043LixTN0G4Ee32RZsLQ0nCVX3d8L37NsURzsCkzpYHL6wuXMcNhzl9k0aXq2uj1hTq0kEiB3g1kpYcR60_ZQg/s320/image1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This a photo of me with Alison and Sarah at a run we did in November 2015 in Thetford Forest. It was great to be reminded of fun times when you are feeling low.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was already very worrying and upsetting, although I have no physical weakness i still felt very tired and fuzzy headed. I did believe that I would be back at work the following week. After all the main problem I appreciated was the loss of my left field of vision. It seems weird now that I did think I would only be off work a few days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">During this time I had a visit from the Stroke Early Discharge Team, it was okay and my initial plan for rehab was set out. As physical therapy was not required it focused on being able to do tasks and get things in the right order.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I also contacted my GP and an appointment was arranged for the following week. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I had my first visitor (a close family friend) and it was lovely to be able to talk with her about the challenges ahead. She has had her own challenges and having someone who could relate to health issues was comforting and helpful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-45931099664542224752016-07-11T02:14:00.000-07:002016-07-11T02:14:40.223-07:00Day 2 - Diagnosis<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">18th April 2016</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After waking up (thankfully) the day started with fear of what might happen over the next few hours. There is nothing like a major concern over your health to make you think about how vulnerable you are. You think you are invincible and nothing bad will ever happen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know that this sounds bizarre but I was almost hoping for a stroke diagnosis as the alternatives sounded so much worse. I wasn't feeling unwell, maybe a little fuzzy and I still couldn't see to my left but other than that I felt fine. For this reason there was even thoughts that there was nothing wrong and i would be better later that day and everything would be alright.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We had to get to the ward at 9:00 and as Stephanie goes to work at 8:00 it seemed simpler to go with her. At least we would be able to get a parking space!! Before my MRI I went into work as things were very busy and I spent sometime doing some work on the year end accounts. I still didn't really believe that anything was wrong. As I knew what I needed to do I didn't have to think and did most of what I could remember. As I was dressed casually people asked me if it was dress down day. When I explained that I might have had a stroke they were concerned and wanted me to stop. I did as i couldn't really think much more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The next few hours was a bit of a whirl with loads of doctors asking me about any weakness in my limbs and how I was feeling. I have become an expert in recognising pens as everyone waved one in front of me asking me when i could see it. The first doctor asked me to say when I could see this. As it was in my blindspot I naturally said "see what?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">One of the things that impressed me is that the "hellomynameis..." initiative was used throughout the hospital. Everyone introduced themselves and it was very reassuring. If you haven't heard of hellomynameis then you should check out the website http://hellomynameis.org.uk/ </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I eventually went down for my MRI. One advantage of working at the hospital was that there were always friendly faces and people I knew. Never was this more apparent than when I got to the MRI department when I was greeted by Claire who had seen i was on the list and had brought in a cd for me to listen to. She remembered I liked ELO so I listened to their Greatest Hits during the MRI scan. Small gestures like that mean so much when you are worried and confused. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was then taken to the stroke unit and taken to a quiet room where Stephanie and I waited for more information and a diagnosis. At this point i still had no real idea what was wrong and and was still worried more about other causes than a stroke eg, tumours. Stephanie had gone to speak to her manager and was said it was okay to spend the rest of the day with me. Again a simple thing but it was great to have Stephanie with me all day. The consultant Dr Azim and Javid (I cant remember his surname) came to tell me of the diagnosis. He confirmed that I had a stroke. Bizarre as this sounds i was relieved as I hadn't got a tumour or other brain problem. Thinking back now it seems strange that I thought this was the best outcome at the time. The doctors then spent time with me explaining what had happened and where i was affected. For the more medically minded of you. I had infarcts in the right thalamus and right occipital lobe. They discharged me to the Stroke Early Discharge Team and said I would have a number of follow up tests to determine the cause of my stroke. These were an MRA, an echocardiogram, 7 day ECG and orthoptist appointment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Before returning home I went back to the office to explain that I would not be back to work for a few days. I genuinely believed that this was the case at the time. I was aware that it was the busiest time of the year and I didn't want to let anyone down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We then went home to the unknown. We Facetimed the children and explained what was wrong. We played down what was wrong as we didn't want to worry them too much. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Trying to get to sleep that night was difficult, i didn't know if I would wake up the next morning. There was lots of "why me", "Its not fair" but it always happens and stroke does not respect fitness, diet an healthy living. I have always been fit and healthy so "its not fair" seems a reasonable response at the time. Why did I bother with running and keeping fit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-72819101110294437632016-07-08T13:09:00.000-07:002016-07-08T13:09:24.155-07:00My stroke<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>17 April 2016 - Stroke day</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As mentioned I am a keen runner and I had entered in a 10k event around Ickworth Park. I was a nice day with plenty of sunshine although there had been loads of rain in the days leading up to the race. I wanted to finish in under an hour as this seemed an achievable target. The run was tough and very muddy. I managed to fall over in the mud in a particularly slippery section. It was not pleasant!! The last 400m of the race was uphill and i knew I was close to the 60 minute target. I thought it would be a good idea to run as fast as I could to get under the target. I managed a time of 59:57 so i made my target with 3 seconds to spare. I finished 231 out of 637 runners which was a lot better than i thought I would do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This is me crossing the finishing line. You can see how muddy it was from my legs!! Although shattered at this point I was feeling okay and drove home as normal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I got home I was the only person in the house, after about 10 minutes (45 minutes after the race) I felt funny and then could not see anything. It didn't go black but everything was blurred an I could not make out anything at all. I sat down in at the kitchen table and was quite worried but after a couple of minutes my vision returned and all I could see was some blurred vision to my left. I have had migraines in the past and I do suffer with visual problems with them. I put the whole thing down to a very fast onset of a migraine. When my wife (Stephanie) returned home I said nothing to her about the migraine as she tends to worry unnecessarily about health issues (she would have been right to worry on his occasion)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I promised myself that i wouldn't indulge in "what ifs" and "if only" but this will be the only occasion I will. Many people will know that FAST is a key message for identifying stroke in others (F - Face, A - Arms, S - Speech and T - Time). What this doesn't include is E - Eyesight. It really should be FEAST. If only I had known that sudden vision problems / loss of eyesight was a symptom of stroke then I would have dialled 999. The result of this would be quicker treatment and potentially a better outcome. But I didn't so the stroke caused me a number of issues some of which could be permanent. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Enough of the what ifs</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After eating lunch and resting in the lounge I decided that the blurred vision had lasted too long and found that I couldn't see to my left. I mentioned this to Stephanie and we phoned NHS Direct who arranged an appointment after 6pm. We went to see the doctor and after a couple of questions referred me to the Emergency Department. This was almost 7 hours after my stroke and much too late for any thrombolysis. After a very short wait I underwent a number of tests including a CT scan and this didn't show anything although they said that sometimes dependent on where the stroke is this may happen. I was sent home with an appointment for an MRI the next day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We were told that the MRI would show if there was a stroke and recall asking what if it didn't show a stroke. The message was that there was something causing the blindness and this would require further investigation and they could not rule out a tumour or other growths.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur and I don't remember too much. We had told the children (when in A&E) that I might have had a stroke, so when we got home we Facetimed them just to show them I was okay. Bethany was quite upset and this was quite tough to face. Ben did not show he was upset (he is a cool dude) although he was shocked at the news. We made light of the situation with the children although I cannot recall being more scared and worried. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I think we both had a terrible nights sleep and we shed tears as whatever was happening was not a good thing. I didn't know if I was going to wake up the next morning and believe me that makes you stay awake as long as possible.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Here endeth day 1 of my stroke life. Words to summarize are: scared, confused but thankful for being alive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2520759706263907426.post-79299674709922019372016-07-08T11:15:00.001-07:002016-07-08T11:15:21.651-07:00About me and my reasons for the blog<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have started this blog following a suggestion from someone who thought I would benefit from having a project to focus on. I will be honest about what I have gone through and what i am facing. I hope it will be informative and hopefully entertaining. If it helps others understand some of the issues that stroke survivors face then it will have achieved something. I am not a great writer or thinker, i am just an ordinary person facing a challenge I never expected to deal with. The first few posts will be catching you up on me and my stroke journey so far.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My name is David Swales I live in Bury St Edmunds in beautiful Suffolk. I am happily married for 28 years and counting. I have a lovely wife Stephanie and two wonderful children Ben and Bethany. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family and love them all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I work in the NHS as an accountant. I have worked for the NHS for 23 years but with my current employer for 8 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am a 53 year old type 2 diabetic and as a result lead a healthy lifestyle. I am not overweight, I have never smoked and don't drink a great deal. I am a keen runner although not an athlete. I run parkruns most weeks and do 5 km in a personal best of 26:27. I enjoy running 10k and have ran a half marathon along a beach and then up a mountain. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know this is all dull and boring but it sets the context for the blog. </span><br />
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David Swaleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11428610660595149028noreply@blogger.com0